lordsexybritches: (Below the thunders of the upper deep)
[personal profile] lordsexybritches
[When the feed turned on, it was past the dark hour, and the video only showed Lord El-Melloi lying in bed on side, apparently sleeping. How the phone's camera had turned on at all was a mystery; it certainly wasn't him.]

[For a few moments, that's all that happened. Just Waver, sleeping.]

[Then, across the bed, something slowly rose up over his bedside. Something long, pink, and suspiciously ahoge-shaped.]

[Hovering over Waver was a certain British privateer, grinning ear-to-ear down at him.]

[An uncomfortable expression briefly passed over his face, as though he could feel her eyes on him, and then his eyes opened. He looked confused for a moment and turned over.]

[And screamed. A suspiciously high-pitched one.]

[The feed cut out.]
[identity profile] profcharisma.livejournal.com
[It is some time after midnight, and Lord El-Melloi's face is now broadcast across the city.]

I apologize if I've woken anyone, but I'm afraid that I have to make this call at such an ungodly hour.  If anyone is acquainted with Miss Francis Drake--

[The video is turned to one very asleep (or, rather, tranquilized, but it would be impossible to tell that, since he'd already taken the dart out of her shoulder) Rider who is sprawled across Waver's couch.  She is snoring, and possibly drooling on his upholstery.]

--she has apparently been imbibing too much this evening, and has broken into my house and passed out on my couch.  I would appreciate it if someone would come and pick her up, or else I'll contact the authorities and have them take her.  Either way, I don't care, I just want her out of here so that I can get some bloody sleep.
[identity profile] profcharisma.livejournal.com
In which a deer, teal in color, emerges. )

(Video)

The feed clicked on half a moment before Lord El-Melloi hit the ground, having turned on after it fell from his pocket.  For several moments, he is the only in thing in the frame, lying still and unmoving.  It is difficult to see much of him, as part of his face is blocked by how his arm is lying, and more of it is obscured by his dark hair, but what can be seen of it is covered in something shiny and slick and possibly red.  It's hard to tell in this light.

Then there is the sound of footsteps, and the phone is picked up by an unseen person; they kept the camera facing away from them, never revealing any more than a few brief glimpses of a hand and sleeve.  Very deliberately, the camera was turned toward the prone form of Lord El-Melloi, lying on the pavement with a small pool of liquid forming on the ground around his face.  This picture stayed on the screen for several long moments-- he did not move.

Then it dropped, and the feed cut out.
[identity profile] profcharisma.livejournal.com
[When the feed turned on, it showed Lord El-Melloi sitting on what appeared to be the edge of a tub in his bathroom. His shirt was also off, and along his torso there was quite a display of fresh bruises mottling his skin purple and blue.  A first-aid kit was open next to him, and he was winding a bandage around a gash on his arm with an air of businesslike practicality.]

Is there anyone else in this place who's had more success than I have at capturing a Shadow?

[Clearly he was in no mood to do anything but get straight to the point.]
[identity profile] profcharisma.livejournal.com
[Today was October 3rd.]

[For most people, this was probably a day like any other, except perhaps for that whole bodies thing that was going on at the shore.  That was, really, a bit disturbing and unsettling, of course.  Though Lord El-Melloi was as concerned about the whole situation as anyone else was, without any further information and the usual suspects ruled out, there was little that he could do about it.  The police were investigating, and getting in their way would not be helping anything, even if he might have liked to get a better look at things himself.]

[Aside from that, it was also his birthday.  Figures.]

[Lord El-Melloi II was thirty years old today, and he was going to spend the evening as he did every year, which was with a glass of gin and tonic to keep him company and if he'd had a video game system, he'd be playing games in his boxers while he drank it, like the classy motherfucker he was.  Birthday parties were for children, not magi of high standing.  Besides that, it wasn't as though he really had very many people to celebrate it with, even if it had been appropriate.]

[Which it wasn't.  Could you imagine anyone with a 'lord' in their name wearing a party hat?  Inconceivable.]

[He was perfectly content to sit in a bar with his gin and tonic and his dignity, anyway.]
[identity profile] profcharisma.livejournal.com
This is Zelretch's fault, I'm certain of it.

My name is Lord El-Melloi II, and I would appreciate it if someone would inform me of where the hell I am right now.  And don't tell me 'in America', because I already gathered that.  I'm looking for information that's a little more specific.

[The voice that comes over the phone was calm and coolly confident; the voice of a man who has grown used to being listen to and obeyed, with undertones of 'it's been a very long day and it's only going to get longer' and 'this is shit only I would have to deal with'.  It is the tone of a patient man, but of one who it patient not because he has some kind of predisposition towards being long-suffering, but simply because it is the only manner of preserving his sanity.  It also doesn't sound like this is the first time he'd shown up in a strange new place before.]

[Shit always happens to him.  He has long since accepted this fact, but that didn't mean that he had to like it.]

I am a very busy man, and I can already tell that I'm going to be wasting more time that I can afford to getting back to where I need to be.  I swear to God, if my research gets set back because of this...

[Priorities, clearly he has them.]

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