Neun

[soulsborderline]

[Accidental Video and Action, dorms]

[After school today, Asuka is engaging in her latest brilliant plan. Since she and Minato are obviously going out for Valentine's Day, whether she remembered to tell him or not, she should make him chocolates. That's what Japanese girls do, right? Of course, with no idea how to make chocolate or capacity to admit that, she's taking the age-old shortcut of melting chocolate bars and pouring the result into molds.]

[Asuka can be seen melting a small pile of generic Hershey's-style chocolate bars in a pot with an intense look on her face, and attempting to pour the result over the last half-dozen of the chocolates she received from V/V sitting in some kind of muffin pan. This would be going excellently if Asuka didn't burn herself and drop molten chocolate everywhere every couple of minutes.]

Gottverdammt Drecksau! I hate cooking! This is why men should do it...

[She's using a public kitchen and being extremely loud, so even without the phone recording her she's botherable.]

Comments

[Video]

[kindofademon]

You know, it's okay to not cook your own.

Video

[assaultedramen]

He He He. Having some trouble?

[soulsborderline]

You.

What do you think you're doing calling me?

[Video]

[soulsborderline]

Ah!

[Blink]

Stupid phone...

[Video]

[kindofademon]

Can't be helped, really.

[Video]

[soulsborderline]

Have I mentioned that's my least favorirte Japanese expression?

A-anyway, this isn't really cooking. I was just...trying to put something together for tomorrow...

[assaultedramen]

I was just responding to your obvious plea for help in that video. I always make a point of helping little girls out of disasters.

[Video]

[kindofademon]

I'll try not to use it.

Got fun plans, huh?

[soulsborderline]

Are you suicidal?!

[Video]

[soulsborderline]

I'd better, though knowing him I'm going to have to come up with something on top of making this dumb candy...

[Video]

[kindofademon]

It's not right to be too picky, especially when he has a girl like you already making him chocolate. What else does he think he can ask for?

[assaultedramen]

Oh, has it gotten that bad in there? Should I come in a hazard suit?

[Video]

[soulsborderline]

Who knows. Boys have no sense of chivalry or respect anymore...

[soulsborderline]

No. I'll come to you. Where are you right now?

[Video]

[kindofademon]

[He nods along.] Seriously.

[assaultedramen]

I don't know if that's a good idea, my hotel room can't handle victims with trauma from cooking disasters of that scale.

[soulsborderline]

[Well, now after a long windup and a fast trip across the kitchen, Asuka's phone is in pieces on the floor. Hopefully it just lost the battery and battery cover, and nothing permanent broke, but regardless it seems this conversation is over.]

[assaultedramen]

[Crappy ATT service, always unreliable when disaster strikes. Oh well.]

[Video]

[king_of_heroes]

[ He'll just be laughing his ass off. ]

[Video]

[soulsborderline]

You just go rot in hell, Gil.

not here

[doudemoe]

[But now, he's worried.]

[king_of_heroes]

Been there, done that.

You do realize you're doing that the entirely wrong way, right?

[soulsborderline]

And how do you even know what I'm trying to do? This is an experimental process.

[ video ]

[stagecontroller]

Isn't it a bit to cruel to claim such thing?

[ video ]

[soulsborderline]

Cruel would be saying you're not good for anything else.

[king_of_heroes]

Just buy the expensive premade chocolates, woman.

They probably taste better, anyways.

[soulsborderline]

Some of us don't have an infinite amount of money to just buy whatever we want. Some of us like to create with our own hands, too.

[king_of_heroes]

What a waste.

You could at least not make a mess out of yourself. Unless you plan on being one of the ingredients. Now that's an idea.

[soulsborderline]

Are you being a pervert, or are you some kind of cannibal now?

[king_of_heroes]

If you took it as something perverted, does that not show what's truly on your own mind?

[soulsborderline]

No, I'm serious, I really can't tell with you.

[king_of_heroes]

[ Siiigh. Ruin all his fun. ]

It was a joke.

[soulsborderline]

You were being a pervert!

[king_of_heroes]

That would imply that I actually found you attractive in any way. That's far from the truth.

Although I'm sure whatever little pathetic boy you're slaving over the stove for would enjoy the idea of helping you clean up.

[soulsborderline]

Doubtlessly. You men are all the same. Doesn't mean that's my intention or that he's going to get ro.

[king_of_heroes]

I wonder how quickly you'll change your tune if he actually expressed interest.

[soulsborderline]

I know back in your cave-man times you'd just beat a girl over the head and drag her home, but modern society has actual, you know, society and customs.

[ video ]

[stagecontroller]

That goes beyond saying, though it does hurt the sensitive people that might be watching such things.

[ video ]

[soulsborderline]

Not something I'm really concerned with.

[king_of_heroes]

For Lugalbanda's sake, woman. I'm not that old. Besides, when you're me, you don't need to do any of this "wooing" bullshit. They willingly threw themselves at my feet.

[soulsborderline]

Just because you had money.

I say that like you know the difference between having money or power and actually being a worthwhile human being.

[king_of_heroes]

I'm sorry, what did you just say?

Let me think here for a moment. Who killed the Bull of Heaven that was threatening to annihilate his people? Who built the stone walls that surround Uruk to protect it from both the harsh winds of Pazuzu and any fools who dared to attack? Who built and repaired the many temples housed within his city? Who trained the worthless men of his city to become worthwhile and actually do something with their short lives? And who inspired mongrels for countless generations with his tale of adventure, brothership, and warned of the pointless pursuit of eternal life?

That's what I thought.

[soulsborderline]

Well, when you put it that way, maybe certain unsophisticated women could get over your terrible personality.

[king_of_heroes]

My personality is flawless.