I had been a fool all of this time, no? To believe that in the end that you could love someone so selfish. For I had taken you away from all that you loved and wanted. For I had tried to shape you into something you never wished to be. Even after so many children together, even after all of the time we spent, you can turn away from me. Although it is true, I betrayed you first, my beloved Diarmuid.
[ If he wished for honesty, she can do that much. If anything, she's true in what she says and if she didn't wish to give herself away, it would be kept a secret. There's nothing between them now that was worth keeping from him. ]
What was I to do when you passed? I had little choice but to join the side of our beloved lord in the end. Desperately he sought me out and even though I grieved, I had to comfort him. The man who murdered the only semblance of happiness in my life was to be my husband. I had to make our children despise me, so I acted in selfishness. For I feared if they remained that all our lord would see in them was you and he would punish them as he punished me. I was alone and I was unhappy, yet I wore the mask as a proper princess should. For if I ever wavered in the eye of the public, it would make our lord look poor and my father weak.
I only rediscovered happiness when I arrived here alongside you. Even if this world is strange and a bit frightening, I persevere for the light of my life. Even when the Shadows come, I fight back so that I can see my beloved moon and stars shine without rainclouds to keep his beautiful face hidden. Even when faced with death, I rise like a phoenix from the ashes so that my sun needs not fade from existence with his grief. [ She'll pause and then give a nervous laugh. ] My apologies, I am uncertain if you know what a phoenix is. A mythological--[ That word is strange for her to say. ]--beast that dies, but rises from the flames of it's death reborn new again.
In the end, my feelings matter not. You have already given your sentence or have you forgotten your words already. 'I fear I must give you no option save only for us to separate.' Do you even know what it is like to truly fear something, Diarmuid? Fear, I have discovered, is being pushed away by the only thing that keeps you bound to this world. Perhaps my murderer was doing me a favor and I have done a disservice to him by returning. Heh, as well as yourself, hm? I think after I have delivered justice to the man who hurt me, I will do as I always have wanted to, and fly like a bird. I have already risen from the ashes like a phoenix, so should I not take flight as one would? A bird without a nest often travels in search of another to build with... so that is the only option left to me, is it not?
RIGHT IN THE FEELS
[ If he wished for honesty, she can do that much. If anything, she's true in what she says and if she didn't wish to give herself away, it would be kept a secret. There's nothing between them now that was worth keeping from him. ]
What was I to do when you passed? I had little choice but to join the side of our beloved lord in the end. Desperately he sought me out and even though I grieved, I had to comfort him. The man who murdered the only semblance of happiness in my life was to be my husband. I had to make our children despise me, so I acted in selfishness. For I feared if they remained that all our lord would see in them was you and he would punish them as he punished me. I was alone and I was unhappy, yet I wore the mask as a proper princess should. For if I ever wavered in the eye of the public, it would make our lord look poor and my father weak.
I only rediscovered happiness when I arrived here alongside you. Even if this world is strange and a bit frightening, I persevere for the light of my life. Even when the Shadows come, I fight back so that I can see my beloved moon and stars shine without rainclouds to keep his beautiful face hidden. Even when faced with death, I rise like a phoenix from the ashes so that my sun needs not fade from existence with his grief. [ She'll pause and then give a nervous laugh. ] My apologies, I am uncertain if you know what a phoenix is. A mythological--[ That word is strange for her to say. ]--beast that dies, but rises from the flames of it's death reborn new again.
In the end, my feelings matter not. You have already given your sentence or have you forgotten your words already. 'I fear I must give you no option save only for us to separate.' Do you even know what it is like to truly fear something, Diarmuid? Fear, I have discovered, is being pushed away by the only thing that keeps you bound to this world. Perhaps my murderer was doing me a favor and I have done a disservice to him by returning. Heh, as well as yourself, hm? I think after I have delivered justice to the man who hurt me, I will do as I always have wanted to, and fly like a bird. I have already risen from the ashes like a phoenix, so should I not take flight as one would? A bird without a nest often travels in search of another to build with... so that is the only option left to me, is it not?