Because I...really am just a horrible person. Just before I came here, I...the fate I was driven to just broke me. In that moment I felt true anger and hatred for the first time in my life.

[Diarmuid pulled his knees to his chest, determinedly not looking at his father.]

I hated and cursed everything from the Grail to my Master. I still...even now I hate one to whom I swore my absolute loyalty. I'm not...I'm nothing like I once was. I can barely even call myself a knight anymore, when I hold such spite and resentment within myself.