tvk | For What It's Worth - Chapter 1: To Ere is Human, to Anger is Scrooge McDuck

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For What It's Worth - Chapter 1: To Ere is Human, to Anger is Scrooge McDuck

[He had been running frantic for what felt like hours. It may have seemed bizarre to the people he passed on the street; an old man shouting in what appeared to be a senile driven fit as he ran through the city streets. It was awkward for him to move at first, the length of his legs now almost twice of what they used to be. Tripping a few times in his panic, the old man had given himself a few scrapes and cuts on his nose and chin.]

"WHERE IS THIS PLACE?!! WHERE'S DUCKBURG?! WHERE'S ME BIN?! MY DULLGARNED MONEY BIN, WHERE YOU BE HIDIN' IT?!"

[Stopping every now and again at a street corner, the aged man looks up into the sky for any sign of a street marker above him. Finding no roads or locations which were familiar to him, the crazed old fool only continued to run about in a feverish rush. It isn't until the old man trips and falls flat on his face a third time that he goes quiet.

Laying sprawled out upon the asphalt, the old man looks up for a moment to see the strange device he awoke with only a few feet out in front of him. Having fallen from his pocket, the strange telephone looking contraption had begun to glow with activity.]

- - - The video feed begins - - - -

"Augh.. Bless me soul.. Where.. Where am I? What in the blazes has happened to my hands and feet?"

[Reaching out, the man grabs for the device and peers into it. A withered yet stern face looks into the camera of the cellular phone, a hand from off camera places a pair of spectacles upon his rather long nose. His whiskers trace down to his chin on either side of his cheeks, now stained with dirt and mud from his fall.]

"I say, is this thing.. uhh.. That is to say.."

[A puzzled face once more turns into a visage of rage and frustration.]

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE UP TO, WHO EVER YOU ARE, BUT YOU BETTER SET THINGS RIGHT THIS INSTANT OR SO HELP YOU THE BRUTE FORCE OF SCROOGE MCDUCK WILL BE ON YOU LIKE BEAGLES BOYS ON ME BIN!"

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You're loud.

[Confused, a blond woman tilts her head at the camera. Does she know what a duck is? Hint: no. So she won't comment.]

[What? A woman's voice? To Scrooge's surprise, there was what appeared to be a female on the other end of the device. She didn't have a bulbous nose or anything. What manner of female was this?! She looked strangely like the way he had appeared when he awoke on the train.]

"Ahh! Don't be on my bad side, lass! I demand that you turn me back into me normal self THIS INSTANT! And furthermore..!"

[Scrooge continues on with all manner of decrees and demands. They're lengthy, loud, obnoxious, and most of all.. Unreasonable.]

"DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!"

But I don't know how to turn you back. I'd turn myself back first, wouldn't I?

[Looking worried, Miki screams back.]

ARE YOU OK OLD MAN??

ARE YOU LOST???

"Ehh~?! Ya mean to tell me that you.. You're a duck too, lassy?!"

[Springing to his feet as if all manner of youth had returned to his form, he wrestles with the device and shakes it with a blurring fury. His image now shaky, Scrooge barks into the phone(?) like never before.]

"YOU MUST TELL ME! WHERE IS THIS PLACE?! WHERE'S ME MONEY BIN?!"

[Blink. Blink.]

I'm sorry, but what is a duck?

[Scrooge opens his mouth to speak..

But then it hits him!]

[His voice is more shrill than the screams of an infant.]

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!"

Edited 2011-10-20 22:30 (UTC)

"Don't be playing games with me!! What kind of idiotic question be that, eh?! WHERE'S MY BIN?!"

No, I mean it. Are you a duck?

[Well obviously this old man is hard of hearing. Miki turns up the volume in kind.]

"WELL I'm SUPPOSED ta be a duck! But whatever manner of life I've been given 'ere, it isn't ANYTHING like being a duck! I've no clue what I am as of this moment! Do you know what I am?!"

Human, I think. You look human.

[Okay. He's. He's trying so hard not to laugh.

THE MOST VALIANT EFFORTS...

Oh god who the hell is he kidding. BahahaHAHAHAHAA!]

[Phased by the blast of sound, Scrooge doesn't back down. He wasn't the Pizen of Pizen Bluffs, the Terror of the Tazmal, or the King of the Klondike for nothing!]

[What's this?! Laughter?!

Pfft! W-Well! Scrooge will only have to answer in kind!

It had worked when he had Donald on the other line of a phone, why wouldn't it work here? Reaching his hand into the video of the device, Scrooge begins to grunt and groan in agitation as for some "cotton-pickin'" reason his hand WON'T go through the receiver to choke this intolerable youth some manners!]

"YE' WOULDN'T BE LAUGHIN' SO HARD IF YE' WERE STANDING 'ERE FACE TA FACE WITH ME!"

"He-.. "Human"? Did ye' say.. "Human"?!"

I said that.

[He gasps, looking down at his hands and back into the device.]

"Bless me bagpipes! What in the devil is a "human"?! Is THIS a human?! Gah!"

[He looks himself over in disgust. The sight of crevices and pores and OH GOD WHY THE DESCRIPTIONS!]

"Tis' a fate worse than death! I want me ol' body back! Why have I been turned into.. Into a human?!"

I have absolutely no idea.

"THEN.. THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!"

[After an initial reaction that she should reach through her phone and choke this old pervert, Miki remembers that he is probably senile and doesn't realize the horrible predicament he is in.]

It's ok sir. I'll get you back to whatever home you wandered out of. Just stay where you are and I'll come get you. You don't have to worry about the American bombers or the Russians attacking any more, it's 2011 and you're in America.

[Miki begins walking towards where Mcduck seems to be. Not that she couldn't just locate him via the aural beacon he just let out.]

[The sudden yelling got Saori's attention and she replies.]

There's no need to shout, Sir. I think you got everyone's attention now. If you go ahead and have a seat, I'll try to explain what we've been through so far.

And...what do you mean about your hands and feet?

[Oh, it's a poor senile old man. Must've gotten lost on his way across the street or something. This is a completely normal thing and he totally can not count how many times he's helped someone in a similar situation! And so he'll just cease whatever usual activity he's doing by this point of the day and make his way over to him.]

Uh, hello, sir? I couldn't help but notice you look kind of, well, lost. And angry. If you'd like I can try to help you back home!

[Said with the nicest tone, even if he's a bit awkward in the delivery still. ...And never mind that there's no way Bridge can actually help him get back to Duckburg, but still.]

I don't know that either.

"Well, for starters, they don't have FEATHERS on them!"

[Scrooge, in a surprising move, takes in a deep breath and sits himself upon a sidewalk curb.]

"All right lassie, I'm listening.."

[Scrooge is wailing his hands into the air, like he just doesn't car, but in the angry sort of way.]

"I've got to find me money bin! Why isn't it here?! Can you take me to City Hall? I've got to speak to the mayor, the police chief, ANYONE who can help me find me money bin!"

Your money... bin? Don't believe I've ever heard of one of those before. But if you think somebody stole it, yeah, probably best to find the police. C'mon, I'll lead you down to the HQ!

[Aaaand, Bridge goes off in a completely random direction because he doesn't even know where it is, honestly.

[Unsure of his surroundings, the old man had no choice but to follow the hapless lad. Picking up his cane, he hurried after the young man, keeping up with his pace as if he were just as young and fit.]

"You're the point-man then, lad! Lead on!"

[ After some time, it's become painfully obvious he... really has no idea where it is. He's probably about ready to give up hope when... he looks up to see it right under their nose.

Well then. ]

Aha! There she is, Sir!

[Scrooge, following from behind, now stands beside his guide with a perplexed look upon his face.]

"There is what? Which one now, eh?"

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For What It's Worth - Chapter 1: To Ere is Human, to Anger is Scrooge McDuck

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