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rider (astolfo)

[Video]

[Astolfo stands proudly in front of a car. A really old, beat-down car. It might have been an average car at some time, but not recently.]

You'll never believe how cheaply I bought this car for! With a bit of fixing it's perfectly serviceable, if not very attractive, and so much more efficient than just walking around.

My sons, would you spend a minute and help me fix it up? I'll take you for a ride anywhere you like after we get it in a better condition.

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I won't agree. But continue your story.

I should begin at the beginning. Do you know of Orlando, my more famous cousin and knight of Charlemagne?

I've heard a little,

He once lost his wits over a woman who left him. Completely stark raving mad, destroying everything in his path in Europe and Africa. Nothing could stop him but the return of his sanity.

Sounds like he needed a new woman.

It is remarkably hard to fall for someone who is rampaging endlessly.

In your opinion, maybe. I've met some odd people.

A-ny-way, as his dutiful cousin, I searched the world on my hippogriff for a way to cure him. In Ethiopia I rescued the king who sent me along to the summit of the Terrestiral Paradise.

And where is that?

Hard to get to if you can't fly and haven't been told the exact way.

I didn't plan to go anyway, just curious to the general location.

...It's somewhere around Ethiopia? It's mostly just up.

I see. Continue.

Where was I, rampaging cousin, Terrestrial Paradise... Did I get to John the Apostle yet?

Not yet. [She's amused.]

Right. It was John the Apostle who met me at the summit of the Terrestrial Paradise and told me how I might recover Orlando's lost wits.

How interesting. I wouldn't peg an apostle to be dabbling in that kind of work.

What do you suppose he'd be doing?

Preaching. Casting miracles. Baptizing people. Helping the sick. You know, biblical things.

Those are all very good answers, I think.

My old priest would be thrilled.

Would he now? At hearing this?

I meant that sarcastically. I could really care less what that old man would think.

That's a shame, I've always liked priests.

They're fine enough when they mind their own business and stay out of mine.