tvk | [Video] Backdated to Yesterday

HEY! YOU GUYS!

[The video is at an angle, the phone left on the windowsill. What it can see is a mostly empty room, and Liquid. Shirtless, shoeless, and sprawled in a chair that's barely balanced on it's back legs. Thud. Down it goes. Aaaand back up. Until it falls. Oh no! But what is this?

...fooled ya!

Liquid's hands shoot out, his drunken self balanced perfectly upside down on them. And then-

-he somersaults.

All the way over to the phone, to snatch it up and sit on the windowsill.]

You- you bunch of... people. [...yup. He's plastered.] I will have my revenge! ...not on you people. I guess. Unless you brought me here and you're all lying liars! That... lie. And some other stuff. Mostly lie.

I'm bored as hell.

Someone... look. Listen. Do you even know who the fuck I am?

No. No you don't. And I'm not surprised.

Stupid Patriots. Stupid government. Stupid- stupid-

-STUPID ST PATRICK'S DAY.

[DRAMATIC GESTURE(tm)!]

I am going... once I am able to. I am going to go back to the desert. I miss the desert. Damn the Patriots!

Might... might take me a while though. First I gotta go kill that guy. That bloody guy. The one with my face. The one that stole my destiny. Stole my purpose. I am gonna go kill that guy. An' then... then I'm going to get very drunk. And then I'm going to blow up the Patriots.

...not the team, although I might blow them up too. Or just get rid of the sport. Who the- who even needs all that useless shit?

You guys're pretty good with the Shadowy Shadows of Doom. Maybe you can tell me this.

If you can kick this much ass, why the hell haven't you managed to find out who the hell's behind this yet? Just blow up the Island, if all else fails.

Or... something.

...

[Staring off into space.]

The stars are reeeeeally pretty. Hey, alien kid! The one that did all the murder on the Shadowy things. Do you guys travel in, in flying saucers? And kidnap people?

Being kidnapped is... really boring.

I even tried to call them but the number didn't work. But... But but butt... heh. They are a bunch of asses. Maybe they changed the number just to spite me.

I can't even raise someone on CODEC. Then again, everyone's dead, so. Or maybe they're just not in range... I dunno.

THE POINT IS!

I need- I need- need-...

...

What did I need again?

OH RIGHT. You people are always getting on my case about the shirt thing. Well, go suck on a lemon.

If you keep complaining I'll lose the trousers too.

So shut your cake-holes.

And tell me what the hell I keep getting pinched for.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[What the...

Don't laugh, April. Don't laugh.]

I've, ah, heard that if you don't wear green on St. Patrick's Day, people will pinch you. So that's probably why.

Well, it's stupid.

[His words are slurring and he looks rather annoyed.]

Besides, how do they know I'm not wearing green socks or underwear? They don't.

...unless they've got cameras in the toilets or the apartments. [SHIT-] CURSE THEM!

[Hi, going to going over the apartment with a fine toothcomb now. While holding the camera.]

...AHA! I found a camera! [He points at the phone in his hand, looking smug.]

[Vriska has no need not to laugh]

Hahahahahahahaha! You're totally plastered! I thought humans would be better at holding their liquor than a six sweep troll.

[Hey, if he was drunk...] Can I come over? [And nick your shit?]

I don't... drink often.

Ok?

But sure. Sure. Just... make sure nobody follows you. They might be watching right now.

[He has no shit to nick.]

[Quickly just covering her giggle with a cough.]

But you were already holding that camera.

...oh.

So I was. Hm.

...Clearly this is the work of that ninja.

[MGS. Making it hard to tell if he's talking about stuff that happened or stuff he came up with while drunk.]

[So much laughter. So much]

Fiiiiiiiine. I'll be careful, Mr. Dumb Name.

IKRID. I mean. Lickid. I mean- Oh, you know what I mean. Get over here.

I won't be drunk forever.

Edited 2012-03-18 20:48 (UTC)

... "That ninja"?

Yeah. There's this cyborg ninja that's been killing all of my men.

It must be his fault. DAMN YOU, GRAY FOX!

[Enjoy that view of the ceiling.]

*Is Popcorn.gif something you can radiate? Because Albedo's doing his best.*

I may have contemplated simply destroying this pathetic spit of land while particularly irritated with it, but seeing as this world extends far beyond Prospero, I doubt that would accomplish much beyond killing those we might be able to extract information from.

Lightweight.

...maybe you shouldn't post drunk.

I'm fine, Miss- Foreigner. With the name.

Yeah? Well you're short.

Sure am. And I still hold my liquor.

Destroy more then! Destroy it all! Just blow the whole damn world up! Stupid idiot civilians with idiot lives and idiot lies and- and- and- and their pop music and their video games and their junk food. Lazy idiots who don't even know how to fight and yet still think they're superior to us all.

And you're still short. And you look stupid. Like- like some kind of cowboy wannabe.

...

Hmph. Do you know a man named Revolver Ocelot?

[Kid's called himself much worse in his brain, so the insults just kinda fly over his head unnoticed.]

Can't say I have. Was he a Marshal or somethin'? [He's betting it's someone NOT from Caelondia, once again, though.]

Special ops! But he liked all the cowboy stuff too. Dressed like one all the time. Like he stepped out of a movie.

If he was here he'd be all "YOU'RE ADORABLE! SPIN YOUR GUNS FOR ME!" and leer like a creepy old man.

...what am I saying? He is a creepy old man.

Sounds like quite the character. My guns aren't on me here, though, so he'd be pretty bored.

You like talkin' 'bout blowin' things up. You into demolitions? Or some kinda soldier?

[But you'll be hilarious forever. Does this thing record?]

Yup, that name keeps getting dumber and dumber each time I hear it.

US Special operations FOXHOUND. Former SAS, SIS, etc.

Also known as "yes, I'm a bloody soldier".

[Why yes. Yes it does. Oh dear.]

Liquid. My name is Liquid. And it's not dumb. It's a code name. Liquid Snake. Like Solid Snake or Naked Snake.

Good on you, then. Plenty of things to fight at midnight if this place gnaws at you too much.

Not like there's much else to do.

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