⚔ 005; [text]

[croibhristeoir]

[Lancer didn't appear on the network himself today. Whether out of shame or cowardice, he didn't know. But today, he simply couldn't show his face. The message he sent out was short and directly to the point.]

I seem to have something of a problem today.

I would like to ask for advice, if I could. Could anyone listen for a minute?

Comments

[revivedpianist.livejournal.com]

...

How many times have you perished, Lancer?

[croibhristeoir]

...Twice.

[revivedpianist.livejournal.com]

Similar experience to the second?

[croibhristeoir]

Almost exactly.

How did you guess?

[revivedpianist.livejournal.com]

Ah... Lucky guess.

But ah. Is it normal? For those women to fall for you?

[croibhristeoir]

It's normal for me. I can't say it would be for any other.

[revivedpianist.livejournal.com]

[Dude. Lancer.

Your life.]

I see.

[There's a minute pause in between the previous text and this text.] May I ask you something?

[croibhristeoir]

[It sucks.]

Anything you ask, I will answer honestly. I have little reason to lie.

[revivedpianist.livejournal.com]

[It really does.]

Do you find your soul lost without a master?

[croibhristeoir]

I can not really say for sure. At the moment I am by the side of someone I am honored to fight for and beside, but it isn't the same as a Servant with his Master.

My purpose is to serve a lord or Master the best that I could. Twice I have tried to do so and twice I have failed the same way.

I have only two wishes left to me. One is to engage the knight I respect most in even and fair combat--the other is to make up for the mistakes of my past as a loyal knight. I can fulfill only one of these without a Master.

So...to an extent? Yes. I believe no matter what, I will end up somewhat lost.

[revivedpianist.livejournal.com]

A poor puppet without strings attached to it's back.

Tell me. Do you not wish to abandon your duty for your own happiness?

[croibhristeoir]

[There was a long pause before Lancer replied.]

I don't know. This whole situation is something utterly foreign. I don't think I've ever really lived on my own and for my own reasons.

Truly, I'm not sure what it would even take to make me truly happy anymore.

[revivedpianist.livejournal.com]

Sad soul.

Then you must learn in Prospero what it means to find happiness.

... And perhaps find the person, or object that makes you happy.

[croibhristeoir]

...There's one person here I suppose I could call myself happy with. Though I can't figure out why. She and I were adversaries once--I suppose you'd call us rivals more than hated enemies.

I'm not sure why or how, but somehow she's become a significant individual to me. Even though I can neither articulate how such a thing could have happened nor understand just how it is she regards me now.

[revivedpianist.livejournal.com]

Perhaps... you could bring the situation up to her.

[croibhristeoir]

I probably should. Though I'm not sure if she would know what to do with a problem like this, hearing what she has to say might be helpful.

[revivedpianist.livejournal.com]

I am sure that it will help. [A pause in between his text.]

Good luck to you, Lancer.