tvk | ⚔ 010; [video; dated to mid-Dark Hour]

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lancer (diarmuid ua duibhne)

⚔ 010; [video; dated to mid-Dark Hour]

[The video shows what appears to be Lancer in his hotel room, face mostly obscured by a book and wearing a suit he's never been seen in before. Behind the chair he sat in, a pair of lances leaned against the wall--a long crimson one and a shorter one in vivid yellow.]

'Hate'.

[Lancer's calm and collected voice had an extra layer to it today, an almost demonic echo that turned gentle tones into mocking amusement.]

'Let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since I began to live'.

[He lowered the book slightly; his eyes were the same yellow-gold as ever, but today they were ice cold and glowing faintly in the dimly lit room. Instead of his commonly seen casual smile, he wore a condescending and cruel smirk.]

Such an interesting volume to have in my small collection.

Because oh, do I hold within myself such hatred. Such spite and rage, I truly am a worthless knight. But why should I do anything but hate? Being kind and generous has gained me nothing but pain. I don't understand, I don't understand, I don't understand...! Why does it hurt so much? Tell me why everything I do only causes me pain!

'Please, allow me to help you.' 'What can I do for you?' 'How can I assist you?' I never asked for anything in return, I never even asked to be thanked for my efforts. If I'm not helping people, then what is the point of my existence? Have I been placed here only to feel pain in my failures?

Kayneth wished to summon a King of Conquerors--he never even wanted me. And why should he have? I am hardly a hero at all, next to people like Iskander or Ireland's precious hound. I am but a man who stole Fionn mac Cumhaill's betrothed and ran like a coward.

I have neither purpose nor right to live. My hatred is the only thing strong about me. I am Diarmuid Ua Duibhne, the man who cursed and corrupted the Holy Grail itself!

[There was a quiet sound of movement off-camera, directing Lancer to look at the floor with a cruel smirk.]

You're wrong...

[The voice offscreen was strained and shaky, but unmistakably Diarmuid's--without the demonic layer this one had. The first Lancer's smirk only grew wider at that.]

...Do you know what I hate most of all, Prospero?

[He reached off-camera, picking up the original Diarmuid by his shirt collar--slightly bruised and scratched up, wincing in obvious pain. The second one with the cruel smirk on his face calmly took off Diarmuid's glasses and put them on himself, expression not changing in the slightest.]

More than Kayneth and Kiritsugu, more than my own disgusting need to make people happy?

Arturia, please help me--

[He choked that much out in a rushed, almost desperate voice; for the first time, Diarmuid was afraid. Not of death, no, but of the fact that his other self's words seemed to ring true in a dark corner of his heart.]

[He was afraid, and he wanted her at his side.]

More than anything...I hate myself.

[The video cut out suddenly, without another word.]

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[Compared to trying to keep up with his Shadow's lightning-fast movements, Saber may as well have been moving in slow motion. Lancer raised his free hand and caught her strike almost easily.]

...why? Why are you so intent on forcing me to st--

Because you're worthless.

[Guess who's leaning against the door frame, Saber.]

[ In comparison to his own, Saber's hands are petite, tiny balls nestling under the protection of his fingers. Before she can answer of her concern for him, she's interrupted by the target she desperately seeks. ]

Here?

[ Glancing over her head in the direction of the voice, her leg may shift her body closer, her torso against his ~~stomach~~ own chest. ]

Arturia, my dearest~ How noble of you to have sprinted to my rescue.

[Diarmuid tightened his hold on Arturia's hands, lightly pushing her behind him.]

Who--what are you? What is it you want?

I am a Shadow, the true self; I am you. You are me. And you are not even worthy to stand in the same room as beloved Arturia Pendragon.

[ Why was he referring to her in such a manner? It dazes her enough to be pushed behind Diarmuid, her own fingers squeezing his in return. ]

Stop.. [ Why her last name? Why her name? ]

I dare call myself her knight...I once called myself Fionn's knight, remember what happened with him? Remember the year and a half spent running like a weak-hearted coward?

...stop it.

You're not worthy of her loyalty. And you disgrace her honor with your own. Why don't you see it, Arturia...? Why don't you realize how pathetic I am?

For I can see clearly with my own eyes and can judge the actions of others for myself. I do not need a demon with malicious intent to say otherwise!

[ Saber may actually be pissed off right now.

Saber never gets pissed off. ]

Wh--Arturia...

[Oh hey Saber, you recognize those lances appearing in the Shadow's hands? You probably should.]

He's going to hurt you. I'm going to hurt you. One of us. Both of us. I won't let that happen, Arturia...I would die to protect you, even if the loyalty of a traitor would only disgrace you.

[ Her hands found themselves free of Diarmuid's quickly as she pushes herself around to his side, throwing one back towards his stomach. It was a simple, but swift strike - meant to knock him back and away from any potential danger.

It's time. With a battle cry, she sprints towards the shadow without a weapon, intent on protecting what was her's. ]

What--Arturia, don't--!

[The Shadow watched her approach with a smug smile, but did nothing save for raising Gae Dearg in a defensive motion.]

[Much as he would not engage his fellow knights in the Fianna during his flight from them, it seemed he wouldn't lash out against Saber here.]

[ He's honorable, but so is she. As long as he's armed, she has no restraint in trying to punch towards his stomach. ]

I will not permit you to speak so ill of my knight!

Do you even know the kind of treachery I'm capable of?! Do you realize I tore apart a legion of knights just by running away with one woman?! I stabbed Fionn in the back, and I will do the same to you if you refuse to let me end it here!

...you're wrong. You're wrong, I didn't want...

You act as though he was the first person to do such a thing in my presence!

All the more reason to stop myself before it happens again! I will not permit anyone to cause pain to the woman I love, not even myself!

[He switched his stance in a matter of less than a second, kicking off against the floor with agility only a Lancer-class Servant could possess. But he didn't attack her--no, how could he raise his blade to her ever again? He threw himself past her, moving like a streak of dark lightning to his target.]

[Lancer's Shadow was behind him in a moment. By the time the original Knight of Fianna realized what had happened, he could only move fast enough to avoid an instantly fatal strike; when the golden lance struck, it stabbed through his left arm rather than his back.]

[ Ah, so this all was for a woman who wasn't even here? How frustrating.. Saber curses herself for being sluggish, turning to see the man impaled. ]

Stop it!

[ Kicking herself up off of her toes, she'll lunge towards the shadow. ]

That's enough, both of you--! Cu Chulainn!

[Scowling and holding his arm where he'd been stabbed, Lancer summoned his Persona and drove the Shadow back with a burst of lightning.]

Why...Why do you still defend me, Arturia? Don't you see I just want to prevent you from being betrayed like Fionn was?

Then I forgive him in advance! [ Looking straight towards Diarmuid now. ] Do you hear that, Diarmuid? I forgive you for any and all transgressions you may cause against me!

Arturia, I-... [What was he supposed to say to that? What could he say? Did she really mean--no, of course she did. She would never lie, least of all to him. But if that was the case, then would she really forgive him? If he should hurt or betray her somehow--]

Fionn said he forgave you, remember? He let that resentment build in his heart, and then he killed you.

[Diarmuid's teeth ground together in frustration, grip on his arm tightening painfully. This duplicate, whatever it was, knew things Diarmuid had never dared to speak of. The innermost thoughts he'd always hated himself for so spitefully thinking were all laid out in front of them now.]

So how can I ever believe 'I forgive you'? How do we know it's true? And how are we supposed to know if we can ever be truly forgiven?

SHUT UP--!

[His Persona reappeared in a flash of white, lightning striking again and destroying what was left of the door. When the dust settled, the Shadow was nowhere in sight.]

You're wrong. You're wrong. You're wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong...

Dia--

[ Saber cuts herself off as she found herself unworthy of speaking his name. Her words were only meant with the best of intents, but they've done nothing to spare the man of his agony. ]

What time is it? [ She can manage that much. ]

[He didn't seem to hear her, at least not at first. He'd lost a lot of blood for a human--losing more as they spoke, in fact. That much was making it hard to think straight, and all he could seem to focus on was that the Shadow was right.]

[Such horrible things it had said, and each of them true.]

I don't...I don't know. The Dark Hour's surely almost over, I-

[He abruptly stopped speaking and fell to his knees, partly from exhaustion and partly from shock at the night's events.]

...he's right. He's right, Arturia, I can't...

Your arm.

[ Saber forces herself to persevere as she moves towards him, swallowing hard. There's guilt weighing her down as her hands reach out for his arm, ready to assist him in bandaging it. ]

Perhaps.. you should go to a hospital. [ So that he doesn't have to be around her.

But it was fake. Fake. Fake. Fake. It wasn't true, right? No, Diarmuid stands before her saying that he is right. That the shadow's words were true.

He would do the same to her.

The same. The same. The same. The same. The same. The same. All for a woman? Which woman was that - his words were so vague and she was so caught up in the moment she neglected to notice it. ]

...no one can do anything for it right now. You know as well as I do there's only one way to heal injuries inflicted by that blade.

[They'd have to break it or kill its owner. Which of them was that right now? Diarmuid had no idea.]

[He didn't speak after that, almost looking sick as he raised his still-functioning hand to hide his face. The former Servant's shoulders were trembling uncontrollably, and no matter how he looked at this everything hurt. The physical pain was nothing. Not compared to knowing he would betray Arturia as he had done to Fionn. Disappoint her as he'd done to Kayneth.]

[He couldn't take it. And it was at that realization that a sound remarkably like a sob escaped him.]

I-I'm afraid, Arturia. I don't want to end up hurting you. I d...don't want to turn my back on you. I would rather die than betray anyone else. Especially you.

He's right. I hate myself. I still feel such spite and anger, and yet I have only myself to blame.

[Another barely-restrained sob, Diarmuid refusing to look at her.]

If I should ever go against you, if I should betray you no matter the reason...then kill me. I would accept death gladly as the price for hurting you.

[ She only repeats the same thought in her mind - that he didn't trust her. Why did he swear himself to her if he couldn't trust her in the end? Months of being close with him only meant her usual stoic mask can easily been seen through as she kneels down to pick up the first aid kit. ]

Sit. [ He's too tall otherwise. ] Your arm needs something at least.

[ For even though he begs her to kill her if betrayal was ever an option, Saber cannot. She'd have to slay him this very moment - an act greater than going against her already committed in her mind.

She keeps it to herself though as the happiness of this life drains from her as quick as the blood spilled from his arm. ]

...

[He'd done something wrong. Diarmuid, or his Shadow at least, had upset her. He arrived at the same conclusion she did--if she was to kill him for causing her pain, then he would have a sword in his chest right now.]

[Diarmuid stared at her in silence for a moment or two, his own physical and mental pain just as evident on his face. Surely she didn't think...that he planned to hurt her? Of course he didn't. And it was with a rush of something like abject horror that he realized at that moment...she didn't trust him. Just like Kayneth.]

...Arturia.

[But that was different.]

[He could prove himself to her. No, he would. No matter what it took. No matter what happened. Arturia had his absolute trust and loyalty now, no other.]

[With his still-working right arm he reached out and pulled her close, holding her in a secure but gentle embrace.]

I won't leave your side. No matter the price, I swore my oath to you. I...care about you, Arturia. Perhaps more than I should. If you say 'I forgive you', then that is simply that. There would be no question in my mind that you forgave me.

I'm just afraid that I will someday be forced to turn my back on you as I did in life. And should that day ever come...I would never forgive myself.

[ Hugging is something she rarely does - this being the second time the two have done it and does the first really count if it was one-sided from her end? She wants to push him away, she has to push him away, but tiny hands reach around to clutch at his back. ]

Then I will just forgive you twice so that your mind is at ease with itself, Diarmuid.

[ But there's a fascination with his shadow in her mind that distracts her, unable to get him out of her mind. ]

I understand. [He held her as securely as he could with one working arm, doing all he could to steady the faint tremble in his own shoulders.]

At this point, I am unworthy of your trust. But I don't wish to hurt you--I would sooner die than take any action against you now.

⚔ 010; [video; dated to mid-Dark Hour]

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