[video]

[king_of_heroes]

[ Another video transmission starts. This time, you'll find Gilgamesh in all of his glory chillaxing on one of his gaudy looking couches, sipping the red wine he loves so much. You may notice he seems more interested in it than what he's actually talking about. ]

It's come to my attention that some of you mongrels are uneducated about who or what Gods are.

You see, in ancient times, the Gods existed as a means to explain why seemingly random things happened in the world. Floods, drought, blizzards, all sorts of works of nature were believed to be the work of various Gods. Everybody civilization dreamt up different sets of Gods to explain things they simply could not. That's pretty much all they were, originally. And then those poor mongrels thought, maybe if we offered things to them, they'll bless us instead of cursing us. Thus, the worship of the Gods began. The earliest kings were even considers Gods due to how much good they did for their people.

The truth is they are all pretty much worthless and you should discredit them all. Especially those that are still worshipped in this age. I've done my fair share of research, and the Gods are now being abused as means for the various governments of the world to rule over the easily influenced sheep of the world. It's sad, really. To think humanity has fallen so low.

[ After a bit of a pause, he sets the finished glass of wine down and actually turns to address his audience. ]

Ah, but I probably gave the impression that Gods never existed, didn't I? That's not entirely true. I'm living proof that at some point, they did live. I suppose if you want to worship a God, I would be the best choice. I'll happily accept any offerings you wish to pile at my feet. I am, after all, the greatest Hero and King to have ever existed. And I am obviously a better choice than these so called "Goddesses", since I'm real and can actually give you kingly advice. You would be stupid to not choose me over them. Of course, you're free to do whatever you wish. I will not be the one to force your hand. I trust you'll do what is right in the end, won't you?

[ And he'll end the video with one of his charasmatic smiles, as if he's actually trying to sell himself. ]

Comments

[Video]

[king_of_heroes]

It truly is pathetic, isn't it? I don't recall ever killing anyone due to such petty reasonings.

Well, perhaps there was one or two back during the Grail War, but that's long since passed.

[Video]

[crouching_sin]

Oh? What's this Grail War?

[king_of_heroes]

So as to not bore you, I'll give you the abridged explanation.

A bunch of greedy humans who happens to be able to use magic summon forth and contract with Heroic Spirits of the past, such as myself. They then proceed to fight each other in hopes of obtaining the legendary wish granting Grail. Of course, I'm sure you can already guess that it isn't that grail. And I'm also sure you can guess the actual outcome of such a promising item.

[crouching_sin]

[... Well at least it's not the actual Grail. But still...]

Tch. Wonderful. That sounds like a horrible mess. Are there other... Heroic Spirits here?

[If there's any from when he was first born there's going to be... trouble.]

[king_of_heroes]

You have no idea.

[ In other words, yes. There are so very many. ]

[crouching_sin]

[... Siiiiiiiigh.]

That could be... troublesome. There aren't any from Biblical times, I hope.

[THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE -]

[king_of_heroes]

[ Poor, poor Naoya. ]

I'm not sure of their orgins, but there are at least a few that claim to worship the God spoken of in the bible. I've found them to be... very troublesome.

[ i.e. fuckers won't budge when he tries to troll them. why must they have so much faith sob. ]

[crouching_sin]

[That twitch? It was pretty visible.]

I imagine they would be. So many of them are idiotic fools...

[king_of_heroes]

[ A sigh. ]

I normally wouldn't even give their religion a second thought if I hadn't been so offended by the lies I read in their so called bible. So many things are obvious copies of things that happened during my time. Even before. It's a mockery of everything Sumerians stood for.

[crouching_sin]

[He just pinches the bridge of his nose.]

At least in my world, many of those events did happen... though it's heavily biased. Many of the stories took elements from Sumerian myths when details were scarce, as well as other oral traditions. It's difficult to sift out many factual details for most of them, aside from genealogies.

[king_of_heroes]

I suppose that's why even my tale has become a minor fragment of what should have been recorded.

[crouching_sin]

Probably. The true story is never told completely with myths. It's... rather irritating.

[king_of_heroes]

For you? I don't seem to recall any legendary figures named Naoya.

Unless, of course, you're hiding behind another name. Much like the many servants here.

[crouching_sin]

Mm. A man is allowed his secrets.

[king_of_heroes]

We're playing this game then, are we?

Very well. I doubt your origin is all that interesting to someone like me, anyway. So long as you keep me entertained, I have no need to care about such a petty thing as your identity.

[crouching_sin]

Good. I don't particularly care to share.

[king_of_heroes]

Whatever please you, I suppose.

Ah, but this conversation has grown rather boring now, hasn't it? And I'm afraid I have things I must attend to, so until next time~