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gráinne

［ＶＯＩＣＥ］ ☘ ｒｅｖｉｖａｌ

That was an unpleasant experience. [ Someone's just returned to the land of the living. During the Dark Hour. Judging from the sounds in the background, she might have her Persona out in her defense. ] Just as unpleasant as my revival. Tell me, murderer, do you boast about making a fool of the daughter of Cormac mac Airt? Then I welcome you to test your luck a second time. For this time I will not stand as princess, but instead as the warrior that I am.

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[ Her hand reaches out as though she wants to hold him again, pausing in mid-air. ]

I can fight the Shadows should you need to take your leave.

I don't...do you wish for me to leave?

No.

I just fail to understand why you feel you must be at my side now.

...I love you. I do honestly love you.

But I do not wish to hurt you anymore. I want you to be able to make your own choices, not influenced by any curse or magic.

You speak of love, but I know that you don't understand what it is. Tell me Diarmuid, have you really ever loved me? The words you said to me the other week speak volumes over your actions of the past years we have spent together. I am told that it is common... very common in fact, for husbands and wives to part in this era.

[ It'd be so easy to just crack and confess her love. To inform him how lonely the nights are without him and just how much it pains her to be away from him. Yet, he blames that stupid spot on his face. Maybe that was the source of everything, but after having so many children, after all they have endured, she can proclaim her love in confidence.

To all but him apparently. ]

So seek out your other woman, Diarmuid. Seek her out and find the happiness I have failed to give you all this time. I do not wish for you to come to me with pity for my death and try to make things right for I fell. Do not make the same mistake I did with our lord.

...I won't. I have no wish to chase after her, and you...I would ask the same question of you, but I fear the answer.

Tell me truly, Grainne. Did ever you truly love me, or was all of it based on a lie? Please...please tell me what it is you wish now, of your own will.

What good will my words do? [ It's a honest question. ] If I failed to prove my love to you throughout our time spent together, then how would I do so now?

Just...just tell me. Speak honestly, and I will believe you.

I cannot.

[ Because if she tells him the truth, that she loves only him, then he will be forced to be with her again. The idea of her beloved remaining with someone he doesn't love only because she loved her... ]

I read it. [ Her voice is quiet. ] The tale of our love. Forever known as the woman who forced you to run away and abandon all that you loved. No matter what I say, your guilt will keep you bound to me unless I send you away.

Grainne, that's not...please, do not make the mistake of thinking I regret the choices I made. Surely you must understand that is not the case...don't you?

I had been a fool all of this time, no? To believe that in the end that you could love someone so selfish. For I had taken you away from all that you loved and wanted. For I had tried to shape you into something you never wished to be. Even after so many children together, even after all of the time we spent, you can turn away from me. Although it is true, I betrayed you first, my beloved Diarmuid.

[ If he wished for honesty, she can do that much. If anything, she's true in what she says and if she didn't wish to give herself away, it would be kept a secret. There's nothing between them now that was worth keeping from him. ]

What was I to do when you passed? I had little choice but to join the side of our beloved lord in the end. Desperately he sought me out and even though I grieved, I had to comfort him. The man who murdered the only semblance of happiness in my life was to be my husband. I had to make our children despise me, so I acted in selfishness. For I feared if they remained that all our lord would see in them was you and he would punish them as he punished me. I was alone and I was unhappy, yet I wore the mask as a proper princess should. For if I ever wavered in the eye of the public, it would make our lord look poor and my father weak.

I only rediscovered happiness when I arrived here alongside you. Even if this world is strange and a bit frightening, I persevere for the light of my life. Even when the Shadows come, I fight back so that I can see my beloved moon and stars shine without rainclouds to keep his beautiful face hidden. Even when faced with death, I rise like a phoenix from the ashes so that my sun needs not fade from existence with his grief. [ She'll pause and then give a nervous laugh. ] My apologies, I am uncertain if you know what a phoenix is. A mythological--[ That word is strange for her to say. ]--beast that dies, but rises from the flames of it's death reborn new again.

In the end, my feelings matter not. You have already given your sentence or have you forgotten your words already. 'I fear I must give you no option save only for us to separate.' Do you even know what it is like to truly fear something, Diarmuid? Fear, I have discovered, is being pushed away by the only thing that keeps you bound to this world. Perhaps my murderer was doing me a favor and I have done a disservice to him by returning. Heh, as well as yourself, hm? I think after I have delivered justice to the man who hurt me, I will do as I always have wanted to, and fly like a bird. I have already risen from the ashes like a phoenix, so should I not take flight as one would? A bird without a nest often travels in search of another to build with... so that is the only option left to me, is it not?

Edited 2012-04-02 05:08 (UTC)

Grainne...

[What could he say? In his attempts to spare her any more pain, he had only made things worse. That was all he could ever do, hurt people and ruin everything. Why...why did he even bother trying anymore?! No matter what he did or how hard he tried, nothing would ever go the way he wished for it to.]

I-...Grainne--

[Even with how much he fought, how powerful he became, or how desperately he wished otherwise, Diarmuid was just as ineffective as he had been in the Holy Grail War. A worthless, useless pathetic Servant--no, not even that. If he was truly this unable to do anything worthwhile...Kayneth had been right.]

[After all this, he really was just a helpless little puppet.]

[Every time he opened his mouth to speak, nothing would come out. Any words he tried to amend the situation with ended in choked half-sobs of despair at how utterly pathetic he was.]

I-I'm so...s-sorry. I can't--I'm not...

If you no longer wished for me to lay beside you, then you should have turned me in to our lord while he was here. Force me back to the chains I had eagerly escaped with my arrival. Instead of waiting for him to be gone to leave me as well.

I-it's not...I wouldn't have--...

Wouldn't have what? Left me had he remained?

You don't...why don't you understand? I just...w-want you to be happy. And as long as you're with me...you won't be. I can't make you happy anymore, I feel as if we hardly know each other for all that's changed.

I'm not the same as I once was. I wish that I could be, but that's no longer possible. And no matter what I do...there is no way I could ever bring you happiness like I once could.

Apart from you not only I have been slain, but I have lost the only riches I had as well as my sense of comfort in this place. There are many strange things that leave me confused, such as the orbs of red, yellow, and green that are throughout this city. If you think me to be happier without you, then I have done you a great disservice in giving you that impression and I ought to be slaughtered for such.

...I beg of you, Grainne, just tell me what it is you wish for. Even if I know I can not bring you happiness, I want to try if you would allow me. Please. Just...just tell me what you want.

Love.

[ That's all she's ever wanted. Even if that's impossible to have now. ]

...you have always, always had that from me.

I haven't.

Grainne, I love you. And it is because I love you that I wanted you to distance yourself from me--there is nothing I can do for you anymore. Nothing save only for causing you pain.

Stop. [ Her voice is firm, growing more resolute as he continues. ] Just stop with that. Should I not be able to tell you if I am happy or not? You say you wish to distance yourself from me because you love me and I only allow you to do the same because I love you. This is all very naive and childlike in nature.

...then what is it that we should do about this?

You are the one with two loves in this realm, Diarmuid. Is it not up to you to decide?

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RIGHT IN THE FEELS

ALL THE FEELS

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