02 ✘ TEXT. ACTION.

[emaiya]

[ Investigation is key in everything, but not with a phone that has her name attached to it. After an inevitable struggle with many prepaid phones, she's discovered that there's no way to do what she needs with an ordinary phone. Therefore she must acquire one from any of the other non-natives.

It doesn't take her long to track an extremely dumb and loud-mouthed captive. One that's stupid enough to leave his phone laying around without second thought. Since he's young, she knows he might notice his phone's gone missing, but maybe most of his effort would be spent pitching a fit instead of searching for it.

Once she's made it far enough from the boy, she'll send out a message or two with his phone. Those who are on top of things will recognize it as Eridan Ampora's phone. ]

I'm kinda curious about something. [ 'Kinda' seemed like a kid thing to type. Little does Maiya realize how far off she is. ] There's a lot of people here with the same name - Saber, Lancer, Archer, etc. What does that mean? Do these individuals have any other names? I wonder where I can find them just to ask myself even.

[ After fooling around with this person's phone for a few hours, she's considerate enough to dump it back where the boy would find it. Only after thoroughly wiping it free of her evidence right down to disinfectant and mass deletion of details that day. ]

Comments

[forever text on her end]

[emaiya]

Guess I'm kinda dumb at times. Have we gone over this already?

[ 'Typing normal and shit'? That doesn't bode well since Maiya's unable to come up with an excuse. ]

[forever voice because fuck her typing]

[hellburner]

I thought I'd at least told you. I'm Rider because I ride stuff. Sabers are Sabers because they use swords. From there it's really not hard to figure out, even if you are a fishfaced moron.

[emaiya]

Don't they go by any other names though? Seems redundant if there's this many in a single place.

[ Hello Rider. Your voice is now permanently engraved in her mind. Hope you don't mind being a potential victim. ]

[hellburner]

[Come at me, gurl. Like I give a shit.]

...Okay seriously, kid, when did you swallow a dictionary?

[emaiya]

I've been going to school now. [ Maybe that will be a good enough excuse... ] Hey, can you tell me about your war, Rider?

[hellburner]

[>Eridan]

[>Using grammar]

[>Giving enough of a flying fishy fuck to type properly w-without sounding like he's fucking a washing machine]

[>Some shit ain't right here.]

...What do you want to know?

[emaiya]

[ Rider, quit being so smart. ]

Did you fight anyone cool?

[hellburner]

[Obfuscating Stupidity, my friend. That and Maiya really couldn't have picked a worse person to impersonate.]

Didn't make it very far. All I got to fight was a Saber class in red.

[emaiya]

[ Listen, she wanted to impersonate someone who wasn't popular... ]

A Saber in red?

I thought they wore blue.

[hellburner]

[in that respect, she nailed it]

[but she should have picked someone less obnoxious]

You don't really think there's some kinda Servant uniforms, do you? That'd be stupid.

[emaiya]

About as stupid as running around with titles.

[hellburner]

...Really, Eridan Ampora? You wouldn't want anything like a title?

[emaiya]

What kind of title would you give me?

[ Is this phone's owner an idiot or something? ]

[hellburner]

[YES]

Oh, I don't know. Fishsticks, Eridork, Eridumbass, Amphishface, W-Waterlogged, or just a w-wannabe Caligula.

Your thoughts?

[emaiya]

Cute.

[hellburner]

Who said I was trying to be?

[Where was the usual hissy fit? Either he was drunk and she was missing out, or this wasn't Eridan.]

...How's Vriska, by the way?

[Subtlety never was her strong point, but Francis Drake didn't get to where she did by being stupid. This would prove things one way or the other; Vriska's disappearance didn't yet seem to be common knowledge.]

[emaiya]

[ Even Maiya's not stupid enough to get called out. If she can't get further information from this Rider, it would be best to cut the call. There's no Vriska listed on the phone contact list though.

Either this was a trick by saying a name of someone who wasn't here or it was recently someone who's left. The former seems a lot less likely than the latter, so... ]

Gone. Check your contact list. [ It's the best she can do in this situation. ] Don't you want to talk about the Servants and war instead of that kinda stuff?

[hellburner]

[Oh this one was good, Rider had to admit that. But whoever they were, they weren't good enough.]

[Eridan wouldn't have been smart enough to check.]

Hm, that's a shame. I guess I got time, what else do you want to know?

[It's on.]

[emaiya]

Have you fought any of the other ones here?

[ At least she's trying. Wait until she meets him. ]

[hellburner]

Not yet. I might like to, though.

[You do try so hard, Maiya...isn't it sad.]

[emaiya]

Have any juicy details on any of them?

[ Come on, don't make this all worthless. ]

[hellburner]

[Maiya, you just asked the worst possible person for information. Welp, here we go.]

Hah, of course I do. What kind of idiot do you take me for?

[TROLL MODE: ENGAGE]

Lemme think...there's a male Saber wandering around, one of the knights of the Round Table or some shit. [Because the most believable lies had a little truth in them, and fuck that dude.] Bunch of Sabers, actually. There's a few Archers, too--one girl, goes by the name Everdeen, I think. Got flaming arrows or something. Then there's another one, a redheaded guy in a green cloak. No idea who he is, but he's a creepy little stalker. Might have a thing for plants.

Ah, who else, who else...I might've seen a possible Berserker. He's a blood-drinker that's hard to miss since he sparkles in daylight and always looks angry. Ah, and there's a Caster by the name of Rayner, something like that. From what he's told me, this guy used his ring as a catalyst for his magecraft.

[Her voice didn't falter or fail in the slightest; Drake was an exemplary liar, even as it revealed her forays into modern literature. Deception was as much her craft as sailing or gunfighting.]

And there's another Rider aside from me, too. Her ship's in the harbor, you usually find her parading around in blue like she owns the place. Name of Marquise Mindfang.

[Rider thought wherever she was, Vriska would appreciate the use of the name for mischief.]

[emaiya]

[ All of that information certainly was... something. Maiya notes it all with the same seriousness she approaches everything. ]

Thank you for your help.

[hellburner]

[GOD IN HEAVEN THEY BOUGHT IT... Rider made a note to tell Shakespeare about this later, they'd have a good laugh over it.]

No problem, no problem at all~ So happy to be of help to you, Eridan.

[emaiya]

[ How can someone so serious take something like this so seriously!! ]

I've got another question.

Do you know anything about Emiya?