⚔ 016; [video]

[croibhristeoir]

I-if anyone has a moment, I'm having a small problem. [This was the understatement of the millennium.]

I'd like to ask how...h-how...er...forgive me, I am having some trouble articulating things today. [Diarmuid adjusted the glasses he wore, seeming hesitant to look directly at the camera at first.]

Imagine one that...has gone through life without anger or hatred. This individual had never felt spite, resentment, or even a shred of those kind of things. He did all he could to put others and their happiness before himself and his own, finding contentment and joy in doing so. But after a certain point, that person...he found someone that did something so deplorable that it left that person filled with rage and spite.

He found someone that he hated. And no matter how he tried, that person could not simply forgive what was done to earn that hatred.

I beg of you, Prospero. Someone please tell me how that person can go back to the way he was. Before he could feel anger and spite, back when he could still grant forgiveness.

[Diarmuid looked away for a moment; he was unsure, even worried.]

Fionn, Grainne-- [Gods, what would they think of him when they knew?] ...there is something I have not yet told you. Forgive me for not doing so until now.

Arturia... [Another pause. She had been there when he had died, she knew the horrible rage he had unleashed that day. Cursing her, Kayneth, Kiritsugu, even the Grail itself. Again he worried that she must secretly detest such a hateful spirit.] When you have the time...I would like to speak with you. Please.

Comments

[namedforcat]

I see. Unfortunately, while I can give you a little advice, you are going to have to come to terms with how you feel yourself. It will be a long and confusing journey but I think at the end you will be fine.

[croibhristeoir]

I wish I could be so confident when it came to this.

[namedforcat]

It's hard to be confident in a position like the one you just described. You shouldn't expect things to be perfect.

[croibhristeoir]

I don't. But I can't stand feeling so utterly lost as I do at this point.

[namedforcat]

Take a deep breath and keep going. You've got a good start, and while it's going to be slow, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

[croibhristeoir]

I truly do hope so. I still need to figure out what on earth to do about him being here now.

[namedforcat]

You can always ignore him if you don't feel that he is a danger to anyone.

[croibhristeoir]

I can't yet determine if he will be or not. I doubt he will, but...I hesitate to ignore him completely.

[namedforcat]

That is never any fun, it just makes your situation worse. I can give you some ideas that I used when I was dealing with particularly horrible politicians back home but I don't know how much that will help you.

[croibhristeoir]

I'll listen to any advice you're willing to give.

[namedforcat]

First off, no matter what they claim or what their reputation is, they're still human. They are not perfect nor are they all powerful. A side note to that for this particular place is that he does not have any access to abilities he had back in your home.

Secondly, there will always be an advantage, you just have to look for it.

Thirdly, never be afraid to ask for support or allies. Friends in any place can turn the tides of war. However, always keep in mind that this usually comes with a price and you must know what you are willing to give.

[croibhristeoir]

...

[Diarmuid listened in attentive silence, giving careful thought to everything before deciding how to respond.]

I...know that I have numerous allies. But in this case I hesitate to ask for their help.

[namedforcat]

Do you fear what he'll do to them? Or what they'll do to him?

[croibhristeoir]

Both--primarily the first.

[namedforcat]

I see. That complicates things a little bit, doesn't it. I don't know the entire situation, but drawing on what I do know, I think you should tell your friends. At least the ones that may end up having contact with him in some function or another.

Keeping things like this to yourself often does not end well.

[croibhristeoir]

I can't say he's dangerous without his magic--I doubt he's much of a threat, but I don't trust him.

The short version of events would be to say 'he killed me.'

[namedforcat]

[Ouch. Now that he understands. He has a very similar situation in his own life. Poor Diarmuid.]

All the more reason to hate him and be wary.

[croibhristeoir]

I suppose so, yes.

[namedforcat]

It's normal to feel that way about it too. Still, I stand by my advice.

[croibhristeoir]

It's sound advice, and I think you for it.

[namedforcat]

You're welcome. I wish I could help you more.