tvk | ⚔ 016; [video]

I-if anyone has a moment, I'm having a small problem. [This was the understatement of the millennium.]

I'd like to ask how...h-how...er...forgive me, I am having some trouble articulating things today. [Diarmuid adjusted the glasses he wore, seeming hesitant to look directly at the camera at first.]

Imagine one that...has gone through life without anger or hatred. This individual had never felt spite, resentment, or even a shred of those kind of things. He did all he could to put others and their happiness before himself and his own, finding contentment and joy in doing so. But after a certain point, that person...he found someone that did something so deplorable that it left that person filled with rage and spite.

He found someone that he hated. And no matter how he tried, that person could not simply forgive what was done to earn that hatred.

I beg of you, Prospero. Someone please tell me how that person can go back to the way he was. Before he could feel anger and spite, back when he could still grant forgiveness.

[Diarmuid looked away for a moment; he was unsure, even worried.]

Fionn, Grainne-- [Gods, what would they think of him when they knew?] ...there is something I have not yet told you. Forgive me for not doing so until now.

Arturia... [Another pause. She had been there when he had died, she knew the horrible rage he had unleashed that day. Cursing her, Kayneth, Kiritsugu, even the Grail itself. Again he worried that she must secretly detest such a hateful spirit.] When you have the time...I would like to speak with you. Please.

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He wouldn't listen, surely. He never did.

Hmm. What about giving him a little tap to the chin?

[The implication in his voice being that anything more than a light tap would be apt to blow the man's head off.]

That doesn't really solve anything.

I'll admit that, but you can't say that it wouldn't feel even a little good.

[His grin fades a bit, and he shrugs.]

Wish I could be more helpful. Anger -- controlling anger, is something I've been fighting to do for so long it's almost second nature. And even then I'll slip up from time to time, make a horrible mess of things.

It's a normal human emotion. You've just gotta try to control it like you would any other one.

Yes, I know that much.

[One did not become a fanboy without hearing Lovecraftian clusterfuck stories.]

But I've just...never felt it before. Ever. Not until the end of the fourth war. And now I'm completely at a loss for what to do and how to handle it.

[He raised an eyebrow at that. Never before? As unli- actually wait a minute.]

Never? ...Well, in your case, I can actually believe that.

[He was quiet for another moment.]

Well, how do you deal with any emotion that doesn't seem fit for the occasion?

Until recently? Remained silent and focused on what I was meant to do.

Somehow I suspect that won't work anymore.

A different way of going about it, maybe. Instead of focusing on what you have to do, focus on something you enjoy doing. I assume most of those things don't really have anything that would remind you of the cause of all this.

Another idea would to be to focus all that anger on something. Like I said, it's an emotion, and emotions can be used to your advantage. Combat in particular. [Just don't turn into a lung-flapping abomination, bro. Trust him, shit sucks.]

[A sigh.]

I suppose I could do that. It's better than being miserable.

You're only as miserable as you let yourself be, dlúthchara. That's how emotions work, you know. They've only got as much power as you let them have.

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[video] - here's hoping I didn't goof my gaelic :V