⚔ 016; [video]

[croibhristeoir]

I-if anyone has a moment, I'm having a small problem. [This was the understatement of the millennium.]

I'd like to ask how...h-how...er...forgive me, I am having some trouble articulating things today. [Diarmuid adjusted the glasses he wore, seeming hesitant to look directly at the camera at first.]

Imagine one that...has gone through life without anger or hatred. This individual had never felt spite, resentment, or even a shred of those kind of things. He did all he could to put others and their happiness before himself and his own, finding contentment and joy in doing so. But after a certain point, that person...he found someone that did something so deplorable that it left that person filled with rage and spite.

He found someone that he hated. And no matter how he tried, that person could not simply forgive what was done to earn that hatred.

I beg of you, Prospero. Someone please tell me how that person can go back to the way he was. Before he could feel anger and spite, back when he could still grant forgiveness.

[Diarmuid looked away for a moment; he was unsure, even worried.]

Fionn, Grainne-- [Gods, what would they think of him when they knew?] ...there is something I have not yet told you. Forgive me for not doing so until now.

Arturia... [Another pause. She had been there when he had died, she knew the horrible rage he had unleashed that day. Cursing her, Kayneth, Kiritsugu, even the Grail itself. Again he worried that she must secretly detest such a hateful spirit.] When you have the time...I would like to speak with you. Please.

Comments

[croibhristeoir]

I am very familiar with the workings of time and the fact that it can not be truly reversed. But what I am not familiar with is that which can simply not be forgiven.

[blackestomen]

I would say that this is your chance to become familiar with it. For you will need to. You are quite exceptional, to have lived so long without experiencing something unforgiveable.

Some rage is just. Is this rage just?

[croibhristeoir]

...truly, I do not know. I can not say if he honestly deserves such hatred; but I know that whether he does or not, I would feel the same regardless.

[blackestomen]

Hm....

It is useless to try and not feel something. These things must run their course. Do you worry that it will consume you? Spill over into every part of yourself?

[croibhristeoir]

...absolutely.

[blackestomen]

It can. It could. But only if you let it.

The fact that you worry about such a thing... and so openly... I don't think you'd have it in you, to be consumed.

[croibhristeoir]

I thank you for that, but how am I to be certain it never does?

[blackestomen]

Find yourself a purpose other than your hatred. Defy that hatred. Don't cater to it. Don't feed it. Don't take the simple answer.

[She sighs deeply, then, and passes a hand over her face.]

...I wish you all the best. I sincerely do.

[croibhristeoir]

I think I can try to manage that much. Thank you--I'm sorry, I don't believe that I know your name yet.

[blackestomen]

I am Queen Zeal. Although that title means very little, here and now. [She glances away and hesitates as she considers something.] You may call me Kasimira, if you wish.

And I don't know your name yet either. [A hint of friendly amusement is in her tone, now.] Would you care to share that with me?

[croibhristeoir]

Y-you're royalty? I apologize, I'd not realized.

I-it's Diarmuid. Diarmuid Ua Duibhne.

[blackestomen]

[She looks pleasantly surprised at his reaction.]

I am! I was. But don't overexcite yourself, Diarmuid.

[croibhristeoir]

O-of course. It's a pleasure to meet you.

[blackestomen]

Likewise. It has been a pleasure and a delight to speak with you. Having spent so long without....

[Is that a sigh, or a laugh?]

...forgive me. Will you be alright for now, Diarmuid?

[croibhristeoir]

I think I'll be fine given a little time. I thank you sincerely for your concern.

[blackestomen]

Good. Good then. Please, take care. I'd like to see you again. Perhaps even in person, next time.