Lancer || Diarmuid Ua Duibhne (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
croibhristeoir) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
tvk2011-09-21 11:27 pm
croibhristeoir) wrote in tvk2011-09-21 11:27 pm
Entry tags:
⚔ 005; [text]
[Lancer didn't appear on the network himself today. Whether out of shame or cowardice, he didn't know. But today, he simply couldn't show his face. The message he sent out was short and directly to the point.]
I seem to have something of a problem today.
I would like to ask for advice, if I could. Could anyone listen for a minute?
I seem to have something of a problem today.
I would like to ask for advice, if I could. Could anyone listen for a minute?
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...don't. Please, don't. I've seen too many fall under the same curse, and it's caused enough pain without anyone killed out of mercy.
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[
THEN CONSIDER HER CURSED.]action;
It's the other way around. This mark under my eye? It was given to me through divine magic as a child--it's a curse which causes any woman to fall in love with me independent of their will or my own. Sola was only the most recent one; though I've tried all I can to prevent anyone getting hurt, I've broken more hearts than I can count in my lifetime.
With your magic resistance...you were one of the first not to fall for me at first sight. And though it may sound strange...that's worth more to me than you may ever know.
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[ Bringing her hand right to his face with the full intent to brush her fingers along it. ]
...
[ She doesn't say anything after that. ]
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When I was still alive...I fought for a good and noble knight named Fionn. One night when we were celebrating his engagement to the woman he loved, she caught sight of me and put me under a binding magical contract to run away with her.
So...we did. And deep down I don't think Fionn ever forgave me. When I was injured badly enough that only he could save me...he didn't.
[The smile remained on his face, though it seemed a little more unsteady. Lancer wasn't certain why he hadn't stopped talking; now that he'd started, it was difficult not to finish.]
Knowing a story like that, it's no wonder Kayneth never trusted me. The legends must make me sound like the worst kind of traitor now, don't they? He thought I would run away with Sola as I did with Grainne. But it's not....that's not what I wanted. All I wanted was to win the Holy Grail for him, so that I could make up for the betrayal I committed when I was alive.
That's why....I was just so frustrated, Saber, and when I died by the hand of another to whom I swore loyalty...I just snapped.
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No, if she were to ever fall for him (which she insists she hasn't), then it was to remain a secret. What little hope she had otherwise was now vanquished. ]
I understand, Lancer. [ Her hand doesn't move away even if she wills it to. ] The same has happened to Sola then, yes? Why not... just pursue something with her then? You are not bound by anything within this place and it might bring you some happiness.
[ Because this failure of a king could hardly make one woman happy, nor could she make a foolish little boy happy, so what chance does she have at making a knight's happiness? No, this is the same story she's endured once before, save for the roles have been swapped. Lancelot and Gwen... It was alright to lose a knight she never really was bound to, wasn't it?
'I forgive you.' Spoken within her mind so that it definitely didn't go unheard. Her forgiveness was all she could give him. The only gift of value she has that won't tie him to her. ]
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[He sighed, not looking directly at her as he spoke.]
Even if I cared for her the way I did with Grainne, I just...don't want to. I'm human now, and from what I've seen I lost the curse along with my status as a Servant. Without it, I...
...I want to be able to find someone that...looks at me for who I am not not whatever divine magic I might have once possessed. Someone I can care about without worrying if I will end up hurting them or someone else because of it. Either way, Sola...isn't that person.
...I'm sorry, Saber. Have I spoken too much? I worry I must be starting to irritate you somehow with all this.
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[ She's standing awfully close to him with a hint of something deeper in her eyes. ]
I know.. that I have lost my magic resistance along with my ability to be a Servant, but something as unique as this [ Fingers tensing along his face. ] surely cannot be removed.
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[Why was she asking...more than that, why was she asking with such a strange look on her face? Lancer wasn't sure he understood what her reasoning could possibly have been--past mere vague suspicion, at least.]
I've been able to regularly speak to several women with no resistance to speak of, and nothing has happened. [Which he was VERY grateful for.] I'm completely, utterly, and absolutely human.
In this place, Sola is the only one who remains affected. I don't know yet if this is something that can wear off, but perhaps distancing myself will return her to normal.
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[ It's only when her hand begins to tremble does she pull away from him, gripping her arm with the other. It all made sense to her in her mind - she saw the mark before when she was a Servant. Back then, she had her high magic resistance to prevent it's spell.
Even without the curse remaining, it was already embedded within her mind. There's just a lack of willpower to keep herself from succumbing to it. The absence of her strong magical resistance only made her fall into this curse's trap.
It has nothing to do with all they've been through and how much they rely on each other nope NASU GIRLS DON'T HAVE LOGIC.]She is not the only one, Lancer.
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How could you possibly...you resisted it until I died. This isn't how it worked. And I know for a fact it isn't working here.
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[ No other explanation as to why she would briefly consider betraying Shirou, the man she was in love with. ]
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But I have spent my entire life with this, and I am certain that it wouldn't suddenly activate after ten years when it has no strength here. there is simply no possible way that would happen, loss of magic resistance or otherwise.
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[ Cause really what is this? ]
There is no other explanation for it, Lancer.
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Am I not trustworthy as a knight on my own? We were adversaries, yes, but would it have been remotely honorable of me to strike down a potential opponent outside of a fight?
[He was clearly hurt by the idea, though his voice was calm as ever.] Did you not trust me at your left hand in Fuyuki? Or do you think that you only ever trusted me in the slightest because of some curse?
Please, Saber. Tell me honestly. Do you believe that you can not trust me or my honor as a knight of your own free will?
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... So yes, I do trust you and believe it to be of my own free will.
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Saber, listen to me. I have seen the effects of this far too many times not to know how it works by now.
I don't believe you to be affected to any degree. And I believe wholeheartedly that your trust is genuine.
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Right. Is that all we needed to discuss then?
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[ Forcing herself to move towards the door of his room. ]
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