tvk | [Video/Action for the fight]

[With anyone else, Shadow Issei is servile - facing off against his other self, he projects a much more malicious air. With every word he speaks, Issei grows more and more upset, denying everything.]

You came to find me? That's odd. No one ever does. No one thinks of me, even those who should treat me as an equal. Should I start with the obvious? What about Emiya?

No- Don't you dare insult-

Don't dare insult kind and brave and dearly beloved Emiya Shirou who never thinks of us? You should realize now that I would never ever insult my love, who I would do anything for. I spent years never saying anything of my feelings to him even when they were painful, because it would bother him. And in return, when it was truly important? Who knew there was a Servant living in my house and never told me a word of this Holy Grail War? That person who I respected and cared for so highly that I wouldn't say anything to anyone about him assaulting me. My love can do me no wrong, for I deserve nothing higher than to be treated so.

I don't think like that of him...

My brother was a Master, before he died. Master to a dangerous Caster Servant who I can read well enough to know that all my sibling affection has gone to waste. It doesn't matter. Because I care for them, I have no choice but to accept whatever I am dealt by them, be it death or some measure of happiness.

I wouldn't-

Is home too painful? Then let me speak of being uprooted and placed into a world where everyone is stronger and wiser and better than me, where whenever I try to help I can do nothing. Even when our dearest friend here is in pain, I can barely get him to rest for a night. I can't soothe his true pain. I can't protect him no matter how much I try to wave a sword around. I can't do anything, because the truth of the matter is that I'm useless.

Be... be quiet...

If I were stronger. If I spent more time training and less time on myself. If I listened to them more and said the right things. If I did more, then they would surely give me their affection. Or at least, if I did anything they wanted, they would have to like me a little, wouldn't they? If I did more then Emiya would treat me as a best friend, Souichirou as a little brother, Diarmuid as an equal-

Stop it! I don't want to hear any more from you when you pretend to know what I feel! You are not me!

[He'll only be replying to action tags, at least until after the fight. He's a little busy.]

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Of course. [He straightened up, still not looking directly at Issei as he did.]

It's going to be fine.

I do not doubt that.

...Do you think yours will come back as mine continues to do?

No. I can't say why, but I have an absolute certainty that when it disappeared after I agreed with it, it was gone for good.

...

[Lancer didn't speak after that, a thoughtful look slowly coming to his face.]

[All the better for Issei to bring him back to the hotel without getting notice from other Shadows.]

[Diarmuid was silent until they returned to his hotel room; he shut the door and leaned back against it, pausing a moment longer before speaking.]

Issei, why do you think these things have manifested in such a way?

To make us confront ourselves, I suppose. Our fears and doubts.

Right. At least, that sounds correct from my perspective. But at this point, I'm wondering if confronting ourselves in a physical sense is not what was intended when this began.

If I had admitted what was being said from the beginning, I probably could have saved myself some bruises.

...I didn't want to believe mine. He's said such terrible things, but thinking about it...it's nothing I hadn't already thought, even just once or twice.

I've said before that those thoughts are human and they don't change my opinion of you one bit.

I should be ashamed of myself for cursing everyone as I did when I died. I am, but at the same time part of me wants to say 'they deserved it'. That's...horrible, isn't it? It's bad enough to die filled with resentment, but it's worse to still hold on to it now.

A-and I shouldn't be afraid of Fionn, of all people. He had every right to act as he did back then. I don't--I don't want to start running again.

How many times do I have to say it's completely understandable before you get it?

...it just feels wrong to me. But if you will believe my words, I'll do all I can to believe yours.

Excellent. I will keep my promise.

Are we staying in the same room again?

I don't know if he'll come back, and I don't wish to trouble Arturia more than I already have.

If you'd like to stay, I suppose I could use the company.

Don't worry. I'll make sure you're safe and somewhat entertained.

I-I don't need protection, Issei.

You're going to go to sleep, aren't you?

Once the Dark Hour's ended, yes.

...If you must wait that long, I can accept that.

I'm at least fairly certain they won't manifest once it's ended. I'd rather wait until it's safer before I fell asleep.

I'm not sure I can hold out so long.

Don't worry. Go ahead and sleep, I'll keep watch for anything.

(no subject)

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