[Video/Action for the fight]

[priestlier.livejournal.com]

[With anyone else, Shadow Issei is servile - facing off against his other self, he projects a much more malicious air. With every word he speaks, Issei grows more and more upset, denying everything.]

You came to find me? That's odd. No one ever does. No one thinks of me, even those who should treat me as an equal. Should I start with the obvious? What about Emiya?

No- Don't you dare insult-

Don't dare insult kind and brave and dearly beloved Emiya Shirou who never thinks of us? You should realize now that I would never ever insult my love, who I would do anything for. I spent years never saying anything of my feelings to him even when they were painful, because it would bother him. And in return, when it was truly important? Who knew there was a Servant living in my house and never told me a word of this Holy Grail War? That person who I respected and cared for so highly that I wouldn't say anything to anyone about him assaulting me. My love can do me no wrong, for I deserve nothing higher than to be treated so.

I don't think like that of him...

My brother was a Master, before he died. Master to a dangerous Caster Servant who I can read well enough to know that all my sibling affection has gone to waste. It doesn't matter. Because I care for them, I have no choice but to accept whatever I am dealt by them, be it death or some measure of happiness.

I wouldn't-

Is home too painful? Then let me speak of being uprooted and placed into a world where everyone is stronger and wiser and better than me, where whenever I try to help I can do nothing. Even when our dearest friend here is in pain, I can barely get him to rest for a night. I can't soothe his true pain. I can't protect him no matter how much I try to wave a sword around. I can't do anything, because the truth of the matter is that I'm useless.

Be... be quiet...

If I were stronger. If I spent more time training and less time on myself. If I listened to them more and said the right things. If I did more, then they would surely give me their affection. Or at least, if I did anything they wanted, they would have to like me a little, wouldn't they? If I did more then Emiya would treat me as a best friend, Souichirou as a little brother, Diarmuid as an equal-

Stop it! I don't want to hear any more from you when you pretend to know what I feel! You are not me!

[He'll only be replying to action tags, at least until after the fight. He's a little busy.]

Comments

[action]

[croibhristeoir]

[Against all logic and better judgment, Lancer was out at night again. The longer of his lances was securely in his right hand, his injured and useless left hand wrapped around the hilt of a short sword--which happened to be securely tied there. He could move his arm enough to defend that side, it was holding anything that was impossible. A knight couldn't let such a glaring weakness go completely unprotected, and a sword he could barely raise was better than no weapon at all.]

[When he heard Issei shouting, the knight in black and green was at his side in a matter of moments--damn it, why was he out here? Didn't he realize it was the purpose of knights to protect those that were less adept at fighting? These Shadows were too much of a threat, more so even than the usual ones that appeared with the full moon.]

Don't panic. [His voice was calm, and even with one arm that barely worked the knight was every bit as prepared for a fight as he ever was. No fear, no hesitation. Diarmuid raised his lance defensively, looking to Issei with a serious expression.]

We'll handle him together. [Neither of them could take on such a thing alone as far as Diarmuid knew, not with him in that condition. With someone at his side, they stood more of a chance.]

[action]

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

It's lying. It's lying, it has to be lying...

[Issei took in a deep breath or two. He needed to be calm or he would definitely be killed.]

[action]

[croibhristeoir]

Issei!

[His voice was sharp, but not out of anger. If Diarmuid had a spare hand he'd have shaken Issei's shoulders to bring him back to his senses. As it was, his voice was the only way he could reach him.]

Re: [action]

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

I-I'm calm now.

[croibhristeoir]

Good. [He hadn't stopped watching Issei's shadow, gold eyes narrowing sharply.]

I don't know for certain what these truly are or why they speak as they do. But rest assured that I am by your side against it tonight.

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

Thank you-



[A burst of ice appeared between them while they were talking. Shadows don't always play fair.]

[croibhristeoir]

Cu Chulainn--!

[Enjoy that Sukukaja agility boost, Issei. Now get your ass moving.]

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

[Much obliged. He gets his ass moving.]

So they can use our personas after all-

[croibhristeoir]

That would unfortunately be correct. Now listen carefully, I need you to help cover any attacks on my left side if you can. Understood?

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

I can do that much. He won't get the better of you.

[croibhristeoir]

Good. I'm counting on you.

[Without hesitating any longer, Lancer kicked off against the ground and rushed at Issei's Shadow, aiming for a strike at his side with the lance in his hand.]

[priestlier.livejournal.com]

[The Shadow blocked it as best as he could with the sword that Lancer had given him. This left him more than open for Issei and his sword, and he winced as a strike to his other side connected.]

[croibhristeoir]

Stop it. I'm not going to allow you to so viciously mock and slander my friend.

[But for whatever reason, he hesitated to attack again.]

[priestlier.livejournal.com]

[Shadows, or these Shadows, bled. The attack that Issei had landed had drawn blood, and the Shadow covered part of the wound with his hand as he spoke.]



[Issei glanced between his Shadow and Lancer, also hesitating.]

[croibhristeoir]

That's not true.

[His grip tightened on the lance, but still he hesitated. Why? This wasn't Issei, but...he wondered if his words rang faintly true as those of Lancer's own shadow had done.]

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

...no. It's true.

[He could no longer meet either of their eyes, and so cast his gaze to the ground.]

[croibhristeoir]

Wh--Issei?

[Well, that answered that question.]

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

I'm not good enough. I'm not good enough for Emiya to respect me, or for Soichirou to have any affection for me at all... I'm not good enough to help you. Realistically I'm aware that this is simplifying things far too much, but. It's painful.

Everything he says is true.

[And as Issei starts to tremble, the Shadow disappears.]

[croibhristeoir]

Issei, that's...

[Considering the imminent threat was gone, Diarmuid set aside his lance and rested his hand on Issei's shoulder.]

I don't understand. Why would you think that was true?

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

Why can't I make you understand? You're good and noble and kind and you deserve every kindness I could bestow upon you and more. Why do you continue to view yourself as - not that? Why does nothing I do make you happy?

[croibhristeoir]

...My current view of myself is no fault of your own. I can give you my word on that.

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

I should be able to help. I can't be your equal in strength. I can't be equal in strength to anyone here. If I could make you happy I would be worth something.

[croibhristeoir]

Issei, cease with this line of thought at once.

[This is probably as stern as someone can look with a sword tied to their hand.]

You have as much value as anyone here. Physical strength has little if any part in deciding one's importance. Do you truly believe I would take someone with no worth as my student? More than that, as my friend?

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

N...no. I wouldn't insult you like that.

[croibhristeoir]

Listen to me, for I have known a person I could call worthless once and once only. He was... [Diarmuid hesitated, faltering only for a moment before continuing.]

...a resentful and bitter coward. You, on the other hand, are one of the most courageous and selfless humans I have known here. While I have found that faith in oneself is the most difficult thing to maintain in the face of trouble, I ask that you instead have faith that my trust in you is not misplaced. If you can not believe in your own strength, trust that I will believe in it.