[Video/Action for the fight]

[priestlier.livejournal.com]

[With anyone else, Shadow Issei is servile - facing off against his other self, he projects a much more malicious air. With every word he speaks, Issei grows more and more upset, denying everything.]

You came to find me? That's odd. No one ever does. No one thinks of me, even those who should treat me as an equal. Should I start with the obvious? What about Emiya?

No- Don't you dare insult-

Don't dare insult kind and brave and dearly beloved Emiya Shirou who never thinks of us? You should realize now that I would never ever insult my love, who I would do anything for. I spent years never saying anything of my feelings to him even when they were painful, because it would bother him. And in return, when it was truly important? Who knew there was a Servant living in my house and never told me a word of this Holy Grail War? That person who I respected and cared for so highly that I wouldn't say anything to anyone about him assaulting me. My love can do me no wrong, for I deserve nothing higher than to be treated so.

I don't think like that of him...

My brother was a Master, before he died. Master to a dangerous Caster Servant who I can read well enough to know that all my sibling affection has gone to waste. It doesn't matter. Because I care for them, I have no choice but to accept whatever I am dealt by them, be it death or some measure of happiness.

I wouldn't-

Is home too painful? Then let me speak of being uprooted and placed into a world where everyone is stronger and wiser and better than me, where whenever I try to help I can do nothing. Even when our dearest friend here is in pain, I can barely get him to rest for a night. I can't soothe his true pain. I can't protect him no matter how much I try to wave a sword around. I can't do anything, because the truth of the matter is that I'm useless.

Be... be quiet...

If I were stronger. If I spent more time training and less time on myself. If I listened to them more and said the right things. If I did more, then they would surely give me their affection. Or at least, if I did anything they wanted, they would have to like me a little, wouldn't they? If I did more then Emiya would treat me as a best friend, Souichirou as a little brother, Diarmuid as an equal-

Stop it! I don't want to hear any more from you when you pretend to know what I feel! You are not me!

[He'll only be replying to action tags, at least until after the fight. He's a little busy.]

Comments

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

Why can't I make you understand? You're good and noble and kind and you deserve every kindness I could bestow upon you and more. Why do you continue to view yourself as - not that? Why does nothing I do make you happy?

[croibhristeoir]

...My current view of myself is no fault of your own. I can give you my word on that.

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

I should be able to help. I can't be your equal in strength. I can't be equal in strength to anyone here. If I could make you happy I would be worth something.

[croibhristeoir]

Issei, cease with this line of thought at once.

[This is probably as stern as someone can look with a sword tied to their hand.]

You have as much value as anyone here. Physical strength has little if any part in deciding one's importance. Do you truly believe I would take someone with no worth as my student? More than that, as my friend?

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

N...no. I wouldn't insult you like that.

[croibhristeoir]

Listen to me, for I have known a person I could call worthless once and once only. He was... [Diarmuid hesitated, faltering only for a moment before continuing.]

...a resentful and bitter coward. You, on the other hand, are one of the most courageous and selfless humans I have known here. While I have found that faith in oneself is the most difficult thing to maintain in the face of trouble, I ask that you instead have faith that my trust in you is not misplaced. If you can not believe in your own strength, trust that I will believe in it.

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

I... I do trust you. I can trust you even now.

[croibhristeoir]

Then cease with such uncertainty. There is nothing worthless about you.

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

I suppose it is that simple after all.

[croibhristeoir]

...If only it was as simple as it sounded.

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

I'll try. Because I do know I can trust you. I will never forget.

[croibhristeoir]

I'm glad th-

-that someone does. [Diarmuid froze up at the voice a distance behind him; his own, with a demonic echo accompanying it. Leaning on a wall was, of course, an exact copy of Lancer in a suit and tie, smiling coldly.] How dare I speak so poorly of our Master. Even if he hated and disrespected me, it was my duty to do all that he asked.

Stop it. [He picked up his lance again, looking defensive.]

Even die on his command. Remember that?

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

[Immediately, Issei was at Diarmuid's left, prepared to defend him.]

Duty goes two ways. Someone without respect for you is not worth respect.

[croibhristeoir]

[The Shadow merely shrugged with his hands in his pockets, making no move to attack yet.]

It matters little. Could I choose who I was summoned to? I would have served any Master the same. Anything to avoid another unhappy ending.

But now that Fionn's here, I'm terrified. I'm so afraid, Issei. [Even though he said that, the calm smirk never left his face. At his side, the original was dead silent.] I did nothing wrong, but he let me die. I did all I could to serve Kayneth, and yet he gave me an absolute order to die when it served his purpose. I'll never forgive him. I'll never forgive Kiritsugu. I'll never forgive any of them.

St...stop. Please don't...don't speak of this.

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

So what? He ordered you to die when he should have trusted you. Not forgiving them is a human thing, and you're human. If you're trying to convince me that he isn't the noblest person I've met, then you're doing a terrible job, Shadow.

[croibhristeoir]

Convince you? I'm only speaking the truth. Saying what I'm too cowardly to speak otherwise.

Stop it. Stop speaking. You're wrong, I'm not--!

Kayneth was right. That 'coward' was right all along. Sola would have forced me to run away with her using a Command Spell, and everything would have happened all over again. I would rather die for my Master than have betrayed him.

But I'm still so angry. I cursed and corrupted the Grail, yet still it's not enough. I'm glad Kiritsugu or Kayneth didn't get their wish. I'm not sorry for cursing a holy artifact to be a corrupt abomination.

[Unable to listen any longer, Lancer closed the distance between them with a curse in his native language, only to be intercepted by the blunt end of a crimson lance swung at his already cracked ribs. Well, there was a little more trauma.]

You're...you're wrong... [It was hard to be threatening when you were doubled over in pain.]

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

[...New plan. Issei interposed himself between Lancer and his Shadow, glaring.]

You will leave. You will not harm him again while I am here. Do you understand? Whatever you're saying, I don't care.

[croibhristeoir]

Issei-!

[It was probably lucky for Issei that his Shadow didn't attack anyone but him. Which might have been a telling thing in itself.]

Is that what you order? Would that make you happy?

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

As a matter of fact, it would make me happy if Diarmuid was safe from you, thank you.

[croibhristeoir]

Very well. I can only do as others command, after all.

[With that he disappeared into the darkness, Lancer still doubled over and staring at the ground.]

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

Dia.

[Issei crouched to look Lancer in the eyes.]

Will you be alright?

[croibhristeoir]

[Well, that did certainly make breathing a little easier. His arm was still useless, but that was to be expected.]

I'll be fine. [Diarmuid deliberately avoided eye contact, though he smiled awkwardly.] I'm sorry. It looks like he's still causing everyone trouble.

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

Huh? He didn't cause me any trouble except through the fact that he bothered and hurt you. What cause do you have to be sorry?

[croibhristeoir]

...I don't really know anymore.

[unknownrival.livejournal.com]

Let's go back to the hotel.