tvk | [VIDEO]

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kayneth archibald el-melloi

[VIDEO]

[Well, now there's some angry rich douchebag on the network who appears to be standing in front of the hotel. Sure, he doesn't really look angry, but it's the kind of look where someone's really obviously trying not to look angry. It's almost possible to feel rage emanating from the screen.]

This is Kayneth Archibald El-Melloi speaking. It appears as though there's been some sort of mistake here-I have no memory of coming to America, nor did I have any plans to come to America. To be transported from Japan to America without knowing isn't exactly natural.

Does anyone know what happened here, or am I going to have to figure things out for myself?

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No problem. Not that there's a lot to tell, but nobody deserves to be left in the dark here.

Ah, I forgot to introduce myself. For now, just call me Lancer.

[This is what happens when Cu Chulainn tries to be crafty and not impulsive for once, apparently.

Just. Waiting to gauge the magus's reaction now.]

Lancer...?

[Another one? Well, this one is from a different war, obviously...]

Which war are you from, then?

The fifth. To give you an idea on the time-related foolishness, I've had some nice chats with my predecessor, here. My kind of people, that guy.

Ah. That reminds me, unless you've got any other questions, I've got one other thing I've gotta do before I'd say this conversation's over.

I see... I only know of four.

[...he doesn't quite know how to react to that. um. well it's not a good idea to talk about how you're a master to people you don't know, even if there's a good chance they already do.]

That would be it, I think-so, what is it?

I'd tell you how the fourth ended, but that'd be boring -- besides, I don't really know.

...Anyway, cutting to the chase. Like I said, I've been talking with Diarmuid here, swapping stories of our wars, and so on, and I've gotta say... some of the actions his master took offend me on a pretty personal level.

Not that Diarmuid needs anyone to fight his battles for him, but I don't think I'll be satisfied 'till I've given that guy a good shot to the jaw. In summary, you wanna get that out of the way now, or would there be a better time for that?

[Yeah he's just

speaking

like it's no big deal.

all "hi wanna schedule a business appointment for me to punch you in the face?"]

[...normally, Kayneth would try and debate this. However, that last bit... who does that...]

Why are you even telling me this? Wouldn't it be better just to come over and do it?

It'd feel too much like a sneak attack if I didn't. That's just bad form. Plus if I tell you, you might muster your courage and fight back. That could be fun, who knows.

[On the plus side, regardless of how your war turned out, your Lancer wasn't a lackadaisical oddball who chats casually with people he wants to punch in the face and/or fight.

So there's that at least.]

[oh god no Lancer Kayneth trying to fight back without magic would just be really pathetic...

speaking of which, oh. one of those servants. Well, he would announce himself if he were planning to show up at someone's place and wreck shit, but man it is weird coming from someone not a magical aristocrat.]

I suppose I can't argue with that, though I'd expect it to come when I'm properly in earshot rather than like... this. Furthermore, I'm not a physical fighter by any means-which, as you could probably imagine, would interfere with your latter point.

[...he sounds more than a little bitter at that. mages do not do physical combat okay it is not Proper.

...man, though, he is taking this better than the other facepunch declarations. possibly because yes, he didn't actually have this Lancer.]

Ah. Right. You're one of those magi, aren't you.

[What little interest he had in the conversation kind of just... fizzles.

Magi had really become boring, on the whole. It was a disappointment, especially for the former servant who himself had known every form of Rune there was to know. It wasn't "proper" magecraft, but if asked, he'd say it was better that way.]

...what do you mean, "one of those magi?"

[IF HE HAD MAGICAL ABILITIES AND A VASE OF MERCURY YOU'D BE FUCKING AMAZED BY HIM!!!!]

Hiding in the back and letting other people do the dirty work. No imagination. A snake in man's clothing. That kind of magi.

[Granted he's projecting the title of "magus" on Kotomine, there. A bit of a stretch, that.]

[

GODDAMNIT YOU HIDE IN THE SHADOWS ONCE AND NO ONE EVER LETS YOU HEAR THE END OF IT]

It is entirely possible to fight someone in person using only magic. I would demonstrate, but that's clearly impossible here.

[don't you dare insult vh-kun!!!]

Oh. I don't disbelieve that, I've just never seen it happen. [Snark snark snark.]

There's magic native to this place, even if it's not what anyone's used to. Mmmmmaaaaybe after you've figured that skill out?

[...It's pretty obvious he's just fucking with you now, Kayneth.]

[all these fuckin trolls! he is just a magnet or something

WELL HE'S NOT MAD AT ALL, NOT GONNA LET THIS.... GET HIM DOWN.......

also magic, huh.]

Very well, then. Once I've done whatever it takes to accomplish that, I'll formally accept your challenge.

[TOO BAD HE HASN'T HEARD ABOUT LEVELS]

[Pssssh, like Lancer uses his own Persona outside of lousy stinkin' phys-immunes...]

[He hums, almost sounding pleased.]

Well well. Maybe I was wrong with that initial impression of you. Maybe. We'll see, won't we?

I suppose we shall.

[squishy wizard vs. physical fighter

heaven or hell

let's rock (in a little bit anyway)]

Right, right. Well, don't get killed before then -- or after then either, I suppose.

[Sure Kayneth's kind of a dick, but he don't deserve to die for it. Yet anyway.

That's less time people can spend hassling him, after all...]

I have no intention of dying, so it's nothing you have to worry about.

[he has to go through hell before he dies, after all.]

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