tvk | ⚔ 029; [video]

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lancer (diarmuid ua duibhne)

⚔ 029; [video]

[In the afternoon, Diarmuid put a call out on the network--running the bookstore was getting off to a rocky start, but he'd managed to get a break at least.]

...This may sound like an odd question, but did anyone else have a strange dream last night? I'm not sure it was like anything else that I've eve--

[Static.]

[The next thing shown was a video of a strangely dreamlike quality, slightly faded and seeming not entirely connected with reality. Images came in a few quick flashes as if a channel keeps being changed in search of something--first is shown a child with bright golden eyes and a brighter smile. He was almost always at his father's side--or hiding behind him, when it came to seeing an average group of women passing by.]

[It was unmistakably Diarmuid, more so when the view switched to the first knight of the Fianna as a teenager, playfully grinning as he sparred against a second knight with flaming red hair. Likely the most notable thing about that last moment was how heartfelt and truly happy his smile was--while he smiled often, it was almost always with some tinge of broken sadness, something he'd never had in those days.]

[Static again, for only a second or two.]

[When that ended, there were no quick flashes--next came images far clearer. This was the story of a knight who never wanted fame, least of all in the way he received it. Diarmuid Ua Duibhne, the unwilling thief of his lord's fiancee that paid for his crime as only a traitor could.]

[There was no static after that, but the video seemed to cut out for a moment; if one listened carefully, they would have been able to hear a possibly familiar voice.]

['In the stories of legend, you are fairly well known for womanizing and adultery. Were you not intending to seduce your master’s fiancée?']

[It had been too much to bear. A lesser knight would have snapped under the strain long before even becoming a Servant. Diarmuid...he was different. He didn't mind accepting others' hatred, as long as he kept to what he believed was the right and honorable thing. But Kayneth...it had been too much. Being so hated and mistrusted, it made him sick and tore at his heart until there was nothing left.]

[That quiet and shy child with the bright smile, that playful teenager surrounded by his friends and fellow knights, that compassionate and self-sacrificing knight...broke.]

['Unforgivable...I'll never forgive you! You dead men who are slaved by fame, you who desecrated the glory of knights... Let my blood stain that dream! I curse the Holy Grail! I curse that your wishes will become disasters!']

[This was a man who had never known hatred, never felt rage until that one moment. No matter how unhappy his circumstances had been in life, he met it all with calm acceptance. And yet over the course of a single Holy Grail War, that legendary calm and patience had been brought down to nothing, crushed under the heel of an equally broken magus.]

[When the illusions broke, when reality cut back into the impromptu recollection of that which he wished he could forget, the video showed Diarmuid looking deathly pale and utterly horrified.]

[Without another word, he cut off the video and sank into the nearest chair with his face in his hands.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Niisan...

Edited 2012-07-18 03:13 (UTC)

I don't want to talk about it. That didn't just happen. Tell me that didn't just happen.

I am sorry.

Don't. Just

Don't.

[A pause.]

My father must have seen that. He doesn't know--he doesn't know anything, he doesn't even know how I died

How am I going to explain this? Is he even going to want anything to do with me?

Edited 2012-07-18 03:28 (UTC)

Niisan, from two seconds of having met your father, I can tell you that he is going to insist on coddling you even more after this. The idea of abandoning you will not even cross his mind.

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[ Now after that? Saber's not going to take the risk in returning his call with a video one. Maybe it's because she knows him all too well or maybe it's the fear of having to speak with him when he's that pale. Either way, he's getting a text message! ]

Diarmuid.

I'm sorry.

[That seemed to be his default response to anything when pressured these days.]

I'm sorry, I didn't

I don't know why

Arturia, why don't you hate me?

Must I defend myself every time something of this nature happens?
I cannot hate you.
For if I did, I would have to place you on the same level as the only man I hate.
And that man is one I could never love.

I'll never understand it. You must truly be more patient than any other, to tolerate me like this.

I do not tolerate you.
I care for you.
Is there not a difference?
Besides, it is not as though I have not seen that scene before.

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[ Sorry, the ancient beauty still doesn't know how to use the text function okay?]

Diarmuid...

I'm sorry. I'm not

I don't know what I can say.

[Oh there's no way in hell Saori was going to ignore this.]

Diarmuid?

I didn't

What I mean to say is that I'm not

I'm sorry.

[She understands. Don't make her go over there and shoosh pap you Diarmuid.]

Why are you apologizing? From what I can tell that interruption isn't your fault.

I don't know what happened or how it did at all.

But what you must think of me after that, I can't even begin to imagine.

[She switches to video for this. Someone is in need of the clue bat to the head.]

Diarmuid, sweetie. I'm not going to let that stuff color my judgements of you ever. You're my friend after all.

Look, I read the story about you. Majority of those events weren't caused by you intentionally. There were circumstances that were beyond your control. You never asked for that spot after all. That guy who accused you clearly doesn't know the whole story! Also that whole debacle about the Holy War... That was also something you couldn't control yourself. Other people were to blame for that, not you.

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[Aided by Issei's call, Aengus rushed to Diarmuid's side afer seeing the video. His face was pale and shocked, lips drawn into a thin line. He hesitated only slightly before grasping him in his arms and clutching him to his chest like a swan taking its young under its wing. The first part had been understandable. Cute, even. Fond memories of fonder times. Peaceful times. Happy times.

Then-

Nononono. He said nothing at first, only clutched Diarmuid close as if he were trying to squeeze the suffering out of him.

And that face. At the end.

He wanted to rip that out of him. His lips moved silently, a bare whisper that was inaudible.

o' father help me know how to respond to this without hurting him more, help me cleanse this anger from him, o my son, my poor son... what should I do...]

I'm sorry.

[He'd frozen solid at his father's touch, unwilling to return it or to pull away.]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I should have told you, but I couldn't-...

[His hand rubbed Diarmuid's shoulder firmly, in an attempt at comfort.]

A man's heart is a pile of secrets, shrouded by a wall that only those closest can penetrate. Yet it is to the man to tell, not to those around him to drill within it in hopes of uncovering them. As many secrets as you may have, I shall not judge thee for not telling them to me.

I will not abandon thee, o' Diarmuid, not for the wickedness of others, nor for any other reasons. As long as there is air to breath, as long as the day keeps returning at the end of each night, as long as my feet yet tread upon the ground... 'til the end of time, I shall be thy father, for love of thee.

Edited 2012-07-19 13:27 (UTC)

Why--?! Why don't you hate me now that you know what kind of hatred I'm capable of?! How can you just...just...

...I don't know.

I sympathize. Your life... I hadn't realized your life after your death was such.

I doubt someone like me could ever be graced with good fortune.

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