tvk | ⚔ 004; [video]

[Why did he feel like talking? Up until recently he'd been concerned with secrecy--he'd finally let himself be honest with Issei, but he wasn't eager to let anything about himself or the Holy Grail War become common knowledge.]

[But...he wanted to talk. Lancer didn't understand why, he just did. But if not about himself and not about anything he'd rather keep secret...then what?]

[Once he'd turned on the video, the former Servant took off his glasses--if he felt like being honest, then he wouldn't need to bother with a weak disguise.]

...Everyone has a wish of some kind, don't they? I mean, it's normal for people to seek their own happiness in whatever form it might take.

[He looked uncertain, voice hesitant--as if he wanted to ask but wasn't sure he wanted to discuss this.]

I think the most common one might be a wish to fall in love. [And oh, had he ever seen plenty of that. Nearly every day of his life had come with a love confession of some kind, and each time he had done all in his power to make the women affected by his curse happy. It wasn't their fault, so how could he dare be cruel to them?] It's rather nice, knowing there's someone for whom your existence is a significant thing. It's no wonder such a thing would be so commonly and fervently sought after.

[...Even Grainne. Especially Grainne. They had thrown aside everything for each other, and Diarmuid had been happy with the choice she made in the end. Even if it meant he was forced to betray everything and everyone.]

But I find myself wondering more often lately...what if someone's wish isn't for their own benefit? If there's someone you would fight and die for without question, no matter how poorly that person thought of you or how bad circumstances were...

[He trailed off, not certain how to finish that sentence or even why he had started it. Here were the innermost thoughts of Servant Lancer, laid out clearly as the result of little more than a moment's uncertainty. When he spoke again, there was a trace of pain and possibly desperation to his voice.]

Please. Tell me--is it wrong to find contentment in only the act of granting others' happiness?

[This was one who had lived his whole life doing all that he could to make other's happy--from Fionn to Kayneth to every single woman he met. And he had been happy. But the end of the Fourth Holy Grail War was making him question so much; about himself, about the redemption he'd sought through winning the Holy Grail, and if any of it had a point.]

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[A slight sigh.] I see... Well, my condolences. I don't suppose it's something you can wrap up here, either.

No, it isn't. But I'm alive--as long as that's the case, then surely there is some way to repair past mistakes.

Mm... isn't it more the nature of humanity to keep moving forwards? Learn from the past, yeah, but to obsess over it seems... I dunno. Like it'd keep you from moving, I guess.

Er. Not that I'm saying to forget, or to leave things alone if you think you can change them, mind you.

I wouldn't call it obsession. I have made mistakes, and I wish to clear my own conscience by overwriting them somehow.

I admit I was using strong wording for emphasis. Didn't mean to offend.

Sounds like you've got the right idea though. If at first you don't succeed, keep going 'till ya do.

I wasn't offended, merely clarifying.

..At what point and after how many failures does persistence turn to futility?

[Devola is quiet for a bit. Mulling the question over in her head.]

When you say it does. You're the only one who can decide that.

I...understand. That is a good way to look at it, I think.

[A chuckle.] Just remember that the idea of "fate is unchangeable" is bunk: in the end we're the ones who make what happens, happen. Might be a bit of a bumpy ride, sure, but...

Well, I've seen you in action during the full moon, and from the few times we've talked I think I've gotten a bead on your character. I've got a feeling you'll be able to pull off what you're looking to pull off.

I don't know whether or not to believe in fate. But I know that the saying people have about history repeating itself is apparently true.

That's kind of you to say, I appreciate it.

I dunno, every time I've heard someone say that it's almost like they're looking at the events so they can't help but find this so-called repetition. I dunno what you're talking about, per se, but it could well just be coincidental similarities.

And hey, I'm just calling 'em like I see 'em.

It could be a coincidence, certainly. Not that it matters much now.

Mm. Like I said before, don't spend too long looking at the past. After a point, it doesn't help at all.

[She pauses, the silence lingering for a moment before her tone turns inquisitive.]

Not that I'm desperate to change the subject, but I keep missing opportunities to ask, so... Anyway, that tune (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ek1PWKvgDZE) I caught you whistling a while back... it's been stuck in my head. Where's it from?

[Another pause and she hums a few bars of it, remarkably close to tune.]

Oh, I remember that. It's...an older song from my home country.

[Not that it was all that old to him, but better to play it safe.]

[Wow paranoid much. Then again Servants are just a Bard and a Cleric class away from being D&D: Holy Grail edition...]

Would you mind elaborating on that a bit? My first guess would be that you hail from the land of amazingly floofy hair, you see.

[Looking a little flustered, Lancer ran a hand through his hair in a (failed) attempt to get it out of his face.]

Er...thank you, I think. [How does I talk to not-cursed wimmens?] I originally lived in Ireland, though I haven't seen it in some time.

[Grin status = upgraded.] It was a compliment. It's utterly chaotic and it still manages to look very nice.

Anyway, Ireland you said? Alrighty. Guess I should ask in advance if you've got any requests.

Thanks, I appreciate it.

...Requests for what, exactly?

Well, my intent was to find the origin - in this case, Ireland - and nose around in the material for songs, melodies, ballades, and tunes that I liked.

Anything come to mind that I should give a particularly studious gaze to?

Oh--well, I'm not sure I can really give many specifics. It's been a very long time, and I was always focused a bit more on fighting than music.

Aww, alright. I'll have to see if I can surprise you, then.

[A pause.] Though if I'm allowed to chide you a little, don't forget to stop and enjoy the simpler things in life, alright?

⚔ 004; [video]

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