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tvk2011-09-15 08:02 pm
crazyoldbat.livejournal.com) wrote in tvk2011-09-15 08:02 pm
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Video
[Ingrid's looking uncharacteristically somber today, staring into her coffee mug as though it held the secrets of life.]
I'd always thought myself as someone who could adapt to anything. Working with the children I did, living the life I have; I thought I could handle any change. But it seems I've grown so accustomed to my routines without realizing it.
The people, places, and the things of grand significance. Those things are easy to miss when they are taken. I expected that; I was ready for that. I thought I was ready for that. But I find myself missing the small things too. The way my husband made a cup of coffee, the walk to school, reading the morning paper in the courtyard, listening to the students chatter about things that always seem so intense and important when you're young. I think I may miss those small things more than the big ones.
[She chuckles, but there's no joy in it.]
This may just be the talk of an old lady feeling her age, but indulge me so I don't feel so dramatic for this little episode. What are the things, big and small, you miss?
I'd always thought myself as someone who could adapt to anything. Working with the children I did, living the life I have; I thought I could handle any change. But it seems I've grown so accustomed to my routines without realizing it.
The people, places, and the things of grand significance. Those things are easy to miss when they are taken. I expected that; I was ready for that. I thought I was ready for that. But I find myself missing the small things too. The way my husband made a cup of coffee, the walk to school, reading the morning paper in the courtyard, listening to the students chatter about things that always seem so intense and important when you're young. I think I may miss those small things more than the big ones.
[She chuckles, but there's no joy in it.]
This may just be the talk of an old lady feeling her age, but indulge me so I don't feel so dramatic for this little episode. What are the things, big and small, you miss?
[video]
I just wish I didn't feel so conflicted about staying here or not. Maybe if I do go back, maybe I will be alive and go back to my usual life.
Well, it's not like I hated my old job or anything. I was given plenty of freedom being a translator for a publishing company. Guess the one annoying thing would be the higher ups trying to suggest that I quit my job and get married before I get 'too old' which is just ridiculous if you ask me.
[video]
They thought you should be married as though you had no say in the matter? Sounds like old times. I'd thought those dreadful traditions had died.
[video]
Well, even the most modern and developed countries can falter when it comes social and gender norms. My world's Japan was like that. A lot of young women used to enter the workforce as a way to find husbands. Though that mindset is changing a bit.
Truth is I don't think I could see myself being in a fully committed relationship. After losing my parents when I was little, and my little brother a few years ago, I'm...rather afraid of being that close to someone again.
[Whoops. Didn't mean to self-psychoanalyze there. She does sniff slightly.]
Sorry, I just don't know what came over me right there.
[video]
It's fine. Understandable. Relationships aren't for everyone. No one needs to feel forced to find a partner or to want anything sexual or romantic or whatever in-between. That's a ridiculous notion.
As for the gender norms, I can somewhat understand. The push to get married, become the perfect housewife instead of a good person, it almost forced me into regrettable union.