http://crazyoldbat.livejournal.com/ (
crazyoldbat.livejournal.com) wrote in
tvk2011-09-15 08:02 pm
Entry tags:
Video
[Ingrid's looking uncharacteristically somber today, staring into her coffee mug as though it held the secrets of life.]
I'd always thought myself as someone who could adapt to anything. Working with the children I did, living the life I have; I thought I could handle any change. But it seems I've grown so accustomed to my routines without realizing it.
The people, places, and the things of grand significance. Those things are easy to miss when they are taken. I expected that; I was ready for that. I thought I was ready for that. But I find myself missing the small things too. The way my husband made a cup of coffee, the walk to school, reading the morning paper in the courtyard, listening to the students chatter about things that always seem so intense and important when you're young. I think I may miss those small things more than the big ones.
[She chuckles, but there's no joy in it.]
This may just be the talk of an old lady feeling her age, but indulge me so I don't feel so dramatic for this little episode. What are the things, big and small, you miss?
I'd always thought myself as someone who could adapt to anything. Working with the children I did, living the life I have; I thought I could handle any change. But it seems I've grown so accustomed to my routines without realizing it.
The people, places, and the things of grand significance. Those things are easy to miss when they are taken. I expected that; I was ready for that. I thought I was ready for that. But I find myself missing the small things too. The way my husband made a cup of coffee, the walk to school, reading the morning paper in the courtyard, listening to the students chatter about things that always seem so intense and important when you're young. I think I may miss those small things more than the big ones.
[She chuckles, but there's no joy in it.]
This may just be the talk of an old lady feeling her age, but indulge me so I don't feel so dramatic for this little episode. What are the things, big and small, you miss?

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I miss waking up at three in the morning. It sounds strange, but a monk's schedule has changed to accommodate that, and I went to bed early in order to get enough rest. Having to stay up until midnight, even if I go to bed immediately after ending patrol, means that I can't get up until later. My body has mostly fixed its sleep schedule, but I miss always being wide awake to catch the sunrise.
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A monk, you say. Buddhist?
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Hmm... I don't really miss much, actually. Kazemaru is here, and I can still train! I know everyone at home is fine, so I'm not worried about them!
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Speaking on a more significant level, I miss my wife Grainne as well as those I called my friends and allies.
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Tell me about her.
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What I quite possibly miss the most is my father's book collection of folklore he was trying to translate. It was the last thing he worked on before he disappeared. I thought I would be able to complete it before I went but...well, it didn't go that way at all as you can see.
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It is not so strange to miss working. Even things we didn't like when we were doing them can hold meaning in retrospect.
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[He frowns and tries to clarify.]
The things we fought-- I had a clear goal. I guess I miss having a goal more than fighting.
[Yeah he's... not good at putting things into words, so try to bear with him.]
Small things... I miss going into the cafeteria in the morning. I miss the sound of familiar voices, and Jerry's ridiculous antics, the smell of all kinds of food in the air. Arguing with that stupid rabbit, chasing Komui's rampaging inventions all over the place.
[He actually sounds a bit wistful. It wasn't the most peaceful of homes-- but it's where his "family" was, and he misses it.]
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You miss them. Your colleges.
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I miss living on the Castle Wulfenbach. Living grounded is so strange; I miss waking up in the morning, looking out the window and seeing a blanket of clouds occasionally interrupted by mountaintops. I miss the few moments of honest research I could get in between the constant political meetings and ridiculous arguments and assassination attempts. I miss my tools and my notebooks and the smell of disinfectant. I cannot recreate that here and rest assured, I've tried.
[He pauses momentarily. Feelings. How does I do. Even this event cannot make a man this emotionally guarded good at expressing himself.]
I miss being nannied by Boris, being teased by DuPree because she knew she could get away with it. I miss fighting Othar Tryggvassen from one end of the Castle to the other. I miss having to chase the children out of my labs.
I miss my son.
[OKAY THAT IS. WAY MORE THAN HE MEANT TO SAY WHOOPS.
Shutting up now.]
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You have children. It seems we're in the same boat. I'm sorry, I know how hard it is to be without them.
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It is human nature.
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Hello again.
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Care to talk about them?
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...And it's a bit of a silly complaint, but I still haven't gotten used to how quiet the hotel is. I'm too used to the sound of waterwheels churning, I guess.
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Care to tell me what you mean by waterwheels?
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