Lancer || Diarmuid Ua Duibhne (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
croibhristeoir) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
tvk2011-09-21 11:27 pm
croibhristeoir) wrote in tvk2011-09-21 11:27 pm
Entry tags:
⚔ 005; [text]
[Lancer didn't appear on the network himself today. Whether out of shame or cowardice, he didn't know. But today, he simply couldn't show his face. The message he sent out was short and directly to the point.]
I seem to have something of a problem today.
I would like to ask for advice, if I could. Could anyone listen for a minute?
I seem to have something of a problem today.
I would like to ask for advice, if I could. Could anyone listen for a minute?
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[...His own words startled him for a moment. Of course he'd thought that for some time now, but giving a voice to those thoughts was different.]
...where are you? If you will allow me to explain, I want to do it in person.
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She doesn't know I'm-...she says that we were fighting Caster before she arrived.
video; now i'm just fucking with you with these icons
video; oh u <3
video; http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lro85h1mCD1qjywp1o1_500.jpg
video; sdfghj
[His tone was just short of honestly pleading; how could he stand back and allow Saber or anyone else to confront Sola? It wasn't her fault. It wasn't her fault Diarmuid had ruined everything all over again.]
...please. Just give me a chance to explain things.
video; oooh i made nao keysmash :D
video; what else is new
video; i got a keysmash and a spittake i think i am set for the day
video; a+
[But he'd definitely be there first. Because he may or may not have been desperately avoiding Sola.]
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Lancer. [ Panting. ] I did not expect you to be here.
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There was hardly any need to run, Saber.
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So I came.
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...I suppose I should just start explaining the situation rather than waste our time, shouldn't I?
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You may do whatever it is that pleases you, Lancer.
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While I have no attachment to her and do not wish for any, she is...infatuated with me through no fault of her own. She shouldn't have to suffer any more than she already will when I try to distance myself from her.
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...don't. Please, don't. I've seen too many fall under the same curse, and it's caused enough pain without anyone killed out of mercy.
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[
THEN CONSIDER HER CURSED.]action;
It's the other way around. This mark under my eye? It was given to me through divine magic as a child--it's a curse which causes any woman to fall in love with me independent of their will or my own. Sola was only the most recent one; though I've tried all I can to prevent anyone getting hurt, I've broken more hearts than I can count in my lifetime.
With your magic resistance...you were one of the first not to fall for me at first sight. And though it may sound strange...that's worth more to me than you may ever know.
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[ Bringing her hand right to his face with the full intent to brush her fingers along it. ]
...
[ She doesn't say anything after that. ]
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When I was still alive...I fought for a good and noble knight named Fionn. One night when we were celebrating his engagement to the woman he loved, she caught sight of me and put me under a binding magical contract to run away with her.
So...we did. And deep down I don't think Fionn ever forgave me. When I was injured badly enough that only he could save me...he didn't.
[The smile remained on his face, though it seemed a little more unsteady. Lancer wasn't certain why he hadn't stopped talking; now that he'd started, it was difficult not to finish.]
Knowing a story like that, it's no wonder Kayneth never trusted me. The legends must make me sound like the worst kind of traitor now, don't they? He thought I would run away with Sola as I did with Grainne. But it's not....that's not what I wanted. All I wanted was to win the Holy Grail for him, so that I could make up for the betrayal I committed when I was alive.
That's why....I was just so frustrated, Saber, and when I died by the hand of another to whom I swore loyalty...I just snapped.
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No, if she were to ever fall for him (which she insists she hasn't), then it was to remain a secret. What little hope she had otherwise was now vanquished. ]
I understand, Lancer. [ Her hand doesn't move away even if she wills it to. ] The same has happened to Sola then, yes? Why not... just pursue something with her then? You are not bound by anything within this place and it might bring you some happiness.
[ Because this failure of a king could hardly make one woman happy, nor could she make a foolish little boy happy, so what chance does she have at making a knight's happiness? No, this is the same story she's endured once before, save for the roles have been swapped. Lancelot and Gwen... It was alright to lose a knight she never really was bound to, wasn't it?
'I forgive you.' Spoken within her mind so that it definitely didn't go unheard. Her forgiveness was all she could give him. The only gift of value she has that won't tie him to her. ]
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[He sighed, not looking directly at her as he spoke.]
Even if I cared for her the way I did with Grainne, I just...don't want to. I'm human now, and from what I've seen I lost the curse along with my status as a Servant. Without it, I...
...I want to be able to find someone that...looks at me for who I am not not whatever divine magic I might have once possessed. Someone I can care about without worrying if I will end up hurting them or someone else because of it. Either way, Sola...isn't that person.
...I'm sorry, Saber. Have I spoken too much? I worry I must be starting to irritate you somehow with all this.
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