Trolltext warning?

[holey-mother.livejournal.com]

[This text message goes out during the Dark Hour of the 12th. It's from a newbie.]

[Text]

Hello Everybody
Or Anybody Rather
Im Very Confused About A Number Of Things Right Now Not The Least Of Which Being Why I Seem To Be An Earth Human On Earth
But Also Including The Purpose Of This Small Primitive Portable Computer And Who Else Is Able To Access This Network
Id Experiment More But Probably My Most Pressing Problem At This Exact Instant Is The Presence Of What I Would Be Inclined To Describe As A Vast Mob Of Roaming Undead
Though Im Not Completely Out Of My Element Here And Would Like To Think Ive Done Well With A Temporary Solution Which Is Why Im Taking The Time To Type All These Silly Words While Under Attack
But I Guess To Cut To The Chase Somewhat There Is A Question I Really Need To Ask Which Is
Does Anybody Know Where I Can Procure A Functional Chainsaw?
Mine Is Broken And Stuck In Lipstick Mode
The Timing Is Really Apalling And Unlikely Which Is Exactly Why Its So Typical
But Im Camping Out In A Decently Well Sealed Structure For Now And Am If Not Defenseless Then Basically Offenseless
And Would Appreciate Assistance Of Any Kind

Comments

[Video]

[kindofademon.livejournal.com]

You have a lipstick mode on your chainsaw? Yeah, besides that, I can kill stuff that's in your way, no problem.

[Video]

[holey-mother.livejournal.com]

I prefer to think of it as a chainsaw mode on my lipstick, but it's a pretty trivial distinction all things considered.

Also, I appreciate the offer but it's become apparent that I don't really know how to communicate where I am. The architecture here is kind of... samey.

[Video]

[kindofademon.livejournal.com]

I've seen a couple chainsaws and I'm not really sure how you'd work that out.

Uh, okay. Can you read any of the signs or just any stuff?

[Video]

[holey-mother.livejournal.com]

The hive opposite this one is more tackily decorated than most of the others and features a small tower that says "McDonalds." If you're familiar with the area I imagine it's an incredibly distinctive landmark with no near duplicates.

[Video]

[kindofademon.livejournal.com]

...Yeah, I think we've got a couple of those. What else is near it?

[Video]

[holey-mother.livejournal.com]

It was a little too dark to get a look at the personal logo inscribed on the outer walls of the hive I'm currently in, but it's a one-story structure with a large mechanical door, and also it's full of primitive vehicles and machinery that I assume facilitates either their construction or repair.

[Video]

[kindofademon.livejournal.com]

McDonal's across from a car garage? [His memory is thankfully really good, as these are not actually landmarks one would pay attention to normally.] Okay, I think I know.