♚ ｓｏ ｉ ｋｅｅｐ ｉｔ ｌｏｗ， ｋｅｅｐ ａ ｓｅｃｒｅｔ ｃｏｄｅ

[ex_cashcow493]

☙AUDIO;

[ There's the distinct sound of cheap sheets grinding against each other, followed by a quiet moan. More ruffling of the sheets before a soft voice, perhaps made more feminine with the edge of sleepiness, calls out. ]

Hm? Did I fall asleep so easily?

Well, your stamina was understandably limited last night. [ Another's croibhristeoir speaks out, sounding just as close to the phone as the other. ]

My apologies, Lancer. I thought myself to be suitably fit for such strenuous activities, but..

It's fine. Even the best of us push ourselves a little too far now and then.

Ahhhhhhh.. Still, do you not find it in poor taste for me to succumb to sleep easily after? [ A tiny cough. ] Your care last night did my heart and body well, Lancer. You have my gratitude.

You don't sound well, Saber. I hope I didn't make anything worse.

Did I not just thank you? [ A reserved sigh follows her statement. ] I prefer the familiarity of a fellow knight above any other, Lancer. [ It sounds as though her voice is a bit more muffled as she continues. ] There is no other in this town who I would permit to lay their hands upon me.

I can't say I'm not honored you see things that way. Truthfully, I'm a little flattered you ended up looking for me in a situation like that.

You will be the first and only I come to for this, Lancer. You have my word as a knight.

[ There's the sound of a phone hitting the ground before it cuts the audio. ]

OOC: Both caliburns and croibhristeoir will be replying to every commenter in their own threads. YAY JOINT POSTS.

Comments

[Audio]

[kindofademon.livejournal.com]

...yeah, okay, this is so obviously about sex that it can't possibly be that you had sex. It sounds like fun anyway.

[Audio]

[ex_cashcow493]

[ W-w-what!? That thing she knocked over onto the ground, did it really!? ]

N-no! [ Boy does she sound nervous. ] I would never! [ Except we all know. ] W-well, not with Lancer!

[Audio]

[kindofademon.livejournal.com]

Here's my friendly piece of advice: you sound like you're in bed, you're talking about stamina and all kinds of touching and falling asleep after. You really sound like you two had sex.

Anyway, it's not like I know much about your relationship with him.

[Audio]

[ex_cashcow493]

That is as far away from the truth as possible!

[Audio]

[kindofademon.livejournal.com]

It definitely doesn't sound like you're talking about the weather~

[Audio]

[ex_cashcow493]

What does the weather have to do with this?

[Audio]

[kindofademon.livejournal.com]

The weather's a boring subject that people talk about when they don't have anything interesting to say. That conversation just now sounded really interesting.

[Audio]

[ex_cashcow493]

It was not meant for an audience so keeping interest in my words was hardly my priority.

[Audio]

[kindofademon.livejournal.com]

Uh-huh. I believe that! I also still think that you two are really into each other, but like I said, you probably didn't have sex yet.

[Audio]

[ex_cashcow493]

You ought to believe it. I have no desire to lie.

[ Huh? ]

Lancer is an ally, a fellow knight. He understands things that I do and it is nothing more than convenience that we work together. I would do the same for him without hesitation.

[ And the comment about sex.. ]

One ought to not be intimate with another without the sacred vows of marriage. I have no interest in wedding in this realm, as I already have a wife.

[Audio]

[kindofademon.livejournal.com]

Really? No sex before marriage with a lesbian couple? You're pretty weird about these things.

[Audio]

[ex_cashcow493]

...

[ Peering at him. ]

My name is Arthur. [ This is worth a shot still isn't it... Ignore the girlish frame, the elongated eyelashes, the beauty of her youth. ]

[Audio]

[kindofademon.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know that. But you're also the Saber Sir Bluebeard kept going oooooon about, and I'm pretty sure he thought you were a girl when he was rambling. Then again, he got your name wrong, but I'm still not arguing with him.

[Audio]

[croibhristeoir]

...I'm sorry, what?

[Audio]

[kindofademon.livejournal.com]

I don't actually know what happened, but if you had had sex before this? That conversation would have worked just as well without changing any of the words. Probably even better.

[Audio]

[croibhristeoir]

I-...wait, what?! We didn't do anything like that!

[Audio]

[kindofademon.livejournal.com]

Sounded pretty similar. Where exactly did you lay your hands upon her, anyway?

[Audio]

[croibhristeoir]

She was injured, that's all! I was helping her with that and nothing more.

[Audio]

[kindofademon.livejournal.com]

Ohhh. I guess that works.

...It's still really funny.

[Audio]

[croibhristeoir]

What's so funny about it?

[Audio]

[kindofademon.livejournal.com]

You two. If I wanted to guess conservatively, I'd give it a couple months before you were actually having sex. Probably not right after she gets injured, though, since that could be straining!

[Audio]

[croibhristeoir]

I'm sorry, what?! We'll be doing no such thing!

[Audio]

[kindofademon.livejournal.com]

Nope, sorry. You will.

[Audio]

[croibhristeoir]

No, we most certainly won't.

[Audio]

[kindofademon.livejournal.com]

Why not?