tvk | Saber and Archer ❖ Video

[ The feed shows a smug Archer, and in the background a bandaged Saber can be seen. ]

You know, I think I know quite a bit about swords. I've fought with them for my whole life. I've studied them time and time again. I've seen beautiful works of steel, but for some reason I think this Saber of flesh and blood is more beautiful than all of them. What do you all think?

Ungh... [ As though on cue, a voice familiar to those on the network gives out a pained groan. ] What happened?

[ Archer chuckles, setting the device to the side. He doesn't seem to have realized that he has failed to turn it off. ]

Oh? You're finally coming to your senses? You should have known better going out with those injuries.

Injuries? [ Suddenly the King of Knights sounds a lot more indignant. ] How did you discover them?

You are covered in bandages. [ He scoffs. ] It would not take a genius to find them.

A genius or a man who knows not how to keep his hands to himself? [ Quite the accusing tone she takes, but it matters little when she reaches over for the phone he's placed down. ] Or in this situation, a man who lacks the skill to turn off a phone.

Hm? [ He glances at the phone. ] How annoying. I could have sworn i had turned it off.

Need I remind you of your own failures in other tasks? [ Suddenly there's one very groggy Saber staring down the lens of the phone. ] Everyone, this man is another Servant like the rest of us and no, he is not available for a battle tonight.

You would chastise me so quickly? [ He seems inquisitve. ] And even speak for me?

Both tasks completed with ease. [ With that, she gives a nod. ] I suppose the lot of you would enjoy speaking to the newcomer, no? Very well, let us hear it. Be brief, for I have many things to discuss with him.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[GURL YOU GONNA GET TAKEN CARE OF LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW]

I swear upon my name and honor that I will.

[ Take a shot every time Saber and Lancer flirt with each other. ]

Then I will do what I can to be pleasurable company. It should not be too difficult as I feel relaxed within your presence, Diarmuid.

[Take two every time he does it accidentally.]

[You will die.]

I am honored to know you place such trust in me, Arturia.

[ Take three when it completely goes over her head and misses the ahoge. ]

You have yet to give me a reason not to, Diarmuid.

[You will die.]

And hopefully I shall never give you such a reason.

[ Then I die due to the cutest ship of all time. ]

Instead, you give me reason to have hope for nice things in the future.

[No regrets, only path, etc.]

Is that so? I am truly glad I could be a source of such a thing for you.

[ For all the ships to die for, this one would receive no complaints. ]

You will not keep me in wait for long, right? I would hate to die of old age before we go forth with our plans. [ She laughs at that, because LOL IMMORTALITY.

Except wait. She's no longer the Forever King. Sheepish, she rubs the back of her neck. ]

My apologies. It seems I need to work on my humor.

[He laughed regardless, smiling brightly because SEIBAAAA]

I will have results for you before the week is out. You have my sworn oath.

[ And she'll just blush in embarrassment because LAAANCER. ]

Then I look forward to hearing from you. If you do not approach me, I will take matters into my own hands and you may not trust what I will have us do.

[ Disney. World. ]

[DIDNEY WOOOOORL]

I would accept such consequences without complaint.

You trust me with plans for your future?

Of course, without question.

It makes me happy to hear of that.

[ Boy, I bet Archer is jelly with how much she's smiling now. OOPS. ]

[LANCERS BE MOVIN' IN ON YOUR WIMMENS, EMIYARCHER]

I only state the truth, Arturia.

Then I shall aim to make you as happy as you make me, Diarmuid.

I do not think that would be at all difficult for you. Just speaking to you is an honor that makes me truly happy.

Then us spending time alone together will leave you feeling as though you were in heaven itself, no?

It just might. I only hope that you will be as content with it.

[JESUS CHRIST THIS CONVERSATION IS DRIPPING WITH SUGAR]

Angels cannot compare to how divine time spent with you is, Diarmuid.

[ /calls my dentist ]

[GOD STOP I CAN'T EVEN...]

Ah, are you trying to flatter me?

Should I cease with my attempts?

Flattery from you is more than welcome, although quite unnecessary.

Is it not the responsibility of a king to ensure her knights are appreciated?

I dare not argue with logic like that.

[video]

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