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[The video feed opens up to a police officers standing in front of Shriou and Saber. Whoever is recording the video is offscreen.]

So basically sir, you’re being charged with the identity theft of Shriou Emiya and harboring the runaway child Arturia Emiya. I’m afraid I’m going to have to take you in.

Arturia Emiya’? [ That’s the sound of one displeased Saber, who stands before the officer with a scowl. ] It is Pendragon. Pen. Dra. Gon. Arturia Pendragon. Please try to understand that.

And what exactly did you mean by identity theft? [That would be the sound of an utterly confused Shirou.]

Sorry mam, but your name is Arturia Emiya, son of Shirou Emiya. He said.. [He gestures over his shoulder to the person recording.] That he named you after one of his favorite mythological figures. Odd name, but that’s what he named you. Once you’re older you can have it legally changed.

As for you. [He turns to address Shirou.] You’re guilty of impersonating Shirou Emiya and trying to kidnap his daughter, or at the very least aiding in her running away. It all depends on what the courts decide.

What!? That’s just ridiculous! [Shirou definitely looks surprised at this revelation, and took a step forward.] I don’t know where you got this information, but you’re wrong!

Ah. [ The knightly girl is just going to shoot a look towards the camera - one that was clearly meant for the person behind the phone. ] Cease with this madness or else I will be quite sour with you.

Actually according to this documentation... [He pulls out a nice stack of papers which he hands to Shirou.] You’re clearly guilty of trying to impersonate Shirou Emiya. I don’t know how you thought you could get away with it since you looking nothing like him. You kids with your computers nowadays think you can get away with anything, but this time you’re busted.

[Meanwhile the man who was standing with the camera makes some kind of gesture, most likely some sort of casual, apathetic shrug.]

What, this doesn’t make sense at all! Unless...

[...a look of realization sort of dawns on his face, and he’s just going to stand there, looking at the document with a perplexed face. The feed cuts before more can be shown.]
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[ The feed shows a smug Archer, and in the background a bandaged Saber can be seen. ]

You know, I think I know quite a bit about swords. I've fought with them for my whole life. I've studied them time and time again. I've seen beautiful works of steel, but for some reason I think this Saber of flesh and blood is more beautiful than all of them. What do you all think?

Ungh... [ As though on cue, a voice familiar to those on the network gives out a pained groan. ] What happened?

[ Archer chuckles, setting the device to the side. He doesn't seem to have realized that he has failed to turn it off. ]

Oh? You're finally coming to your senses? You should have known better going out with those injuries.

Injuries? [ Suddenly the King of Knights sounds a lot more indignant. ] How did you discover them?

You are covered in bandages. [ He scoffs. ] It would not take a genius to find them.

A genius or a man who knows not how to keep his hands to himself? [ Quite the accusing tone she takes, but it matters little when she reaches over for the phone he's placed down. ] Or in this situation, a man who lacks the skill to turn off a phone.

Hm? [ He glances at the phone. ] How annoying. I could have sworn i had turned it off.

Need I remind you of your own failures in other tasks? [ Suddenly there's one very groggy Saber staring down the lens of the phone. ] Everyone, this man is another Servant like the rest of us and no, he is not available for a battle tonight.

You would chastise me so quickly? [ He seems inquisitve. ] And even speak for me?

Both tasks completed with ease. [ With that, she gives a nod. ] I suppose the lot of you would enjoy speaking to the newcomer, no? Very well, let us hear it. Be brief, for I have many things to discuss with him.


The Velvet Key

March 2013

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