tvk | [VIDEO]

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kayneth archibald el-melloi

[VIDEO]

[Well, now there's some angry rich douchebag on the network who appears to be standing in front of the hotel. Sure, he doesn't really look angry, but it's the kind of look where someone's really obviously trying not to look angry. It's almost possible to feel rage emanating from the screen.]

This is Kayneth Archibald El-Melloi speaking. It appears as though there's been some sort of mistake here-I have no memory of coming to America, nor did I have any plans to come to America. To be transported from Japan to America without knowing isn't exactly natural.

Does anyone know what happened here, or am I going to have to figure things out for myself?

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[...who's this douchebag? Yeah, getting down to business to defeat the Huns has done wonders for Waver.]

...well, enlighten me as to why you were doing so, because I have absolutely no clue who you are.

[is it someone else who's going to drop a load of overdramatic threats on him on Diarmuid's behalf

he's had quite enough of that today thanks]

Simply because it seems that most of the participants in the Fourth Holy Grail War have passed through here at one time or another.

[Diarmuid can take care of his own shit, apparently by punching it in the face, but hey, that works for him. Waver will be perfectly content with less physical injury and more dropping bombshells.]

As for me, I am your successor.

Is that so? Then-

[wow that was a way to stop his train of thought

imagine a record needle scratch here because what

how does that work, you look nothing like him or Sola are you branch family or something? maybe that is why he looks vaguely familiar

still that is too shocking to cause a reaction other than-]

What?

[For once in ten years, it is actually satisfying to be head of that damn family.]

Did you not hear me properly? I said, I am your successor. Meaning, of course, that I am the current head of the Archibald family.

Then why don't I know who you are? You don't look like anyone in the family that I know of.

[seriously you cannot be related to him]

Of course you know me. You just don't recognize me at the moment.

[Please, he's glad that he isn't related to you.]

I was a student of yours, once.

[...he does look sort of like-holy fuck.

holy fuck no that is literally fucking impossible. why would he come to that conclusion, it's completely fucking stupid.]

...which one?

[He is so fucking enjoying this, don't let his pokerface fool you. This is for tearing up his manuscript, you bastard.]

Waver Velvet.

[no way.]

[there is no fucking way.]

[this is a nightmare. it has to be. there is no possible way the world could go this wrong.]

[Waver Velvet, with only like three generations behind him, could not possibly become the illustrious head of the Archibald family.]

[this is literally the worst thing. it has to be someone's bad idea of a joke. someone is trying to pull a fast one on kayneth archibald el-melloi.]

How the bloody hell do you expect me to believe this?!?!?!

[You are TM's buttmonkey, Kayneth. It is you.]

I don't particularly care whether you believe me or not, but I've little reason to lie to you on such matters. I was given the title of Lord El-Melloi for services rendered to your family.

[He took your awesome Servant and now he took your title. What do, Kayneth.]

[THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE CU CHULAINN!!!]

What services are these?! What could you possibly have done to earn my title?!

[THIS IS STUPID. THIS IS SO STUPID.]

[Apparently the womanizing murderhound is more sympathetic than you.]

I saved your bloody family from ruin after you died in the Fourth Grail War, that's what. Finding your successor had devolved into in-fighting between the branches, and if I hadn't done something, there wouldn't have been an Archibald family at all.

[YOU'RE STUPID, KAYNETH.]

[well lancer is a bro and Kayneth is

kind of bsoding right now

holy shit how does that happen how does that happen the world is not supposed to work that way he's a genius things can't go wrong like that for him

(except they'd already started going that way hadn't they)

no no he had to be lying he had to be lying he had to be lying]

I don't know what you're trying to pull, Waver Velvet, but you can be assured that I won't be falling for it any time soon.

Good day.

[...the call has been ragequit.

Kayneth El-Melloi, you stupid, stupid motherfucker.]

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[video] 1/?????????

[video] i will just tell you when i'm done i guess this will take a while

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[video] okay i'm done

[video] xDDD beautiful

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