tvk | [VIDEO]

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kayneth archibald el-melloi

[VIDEO]

[Well, now there's some angry rich douchebag on the network who appears to be standing in front of the hotel. Sure, he doesn't really look angry, but it's the kind of look where someone's really obviously trying not to look angry. It's almost possible to feel rage emanating from the screen.]

This is Kayneth Archibald El-Melloi speaking. It appears as though there's been some sort of mistake here-I have no memory of coming to America, nor did I have any plans to come to America. To be transported from Japan to America without knowing isn't exactly natural.

Does anyone know what happened here, or am I going to have to figure things out for myself?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, there's plenty of information. The question is exactly how much of it is actually useful.

It depends on your aim, really. If you have any desire to know exactly why you're here, then currently, most of it is useless. Of course, it is entirely possible that the majority of it lacks the proper context...

[...but he's a busy man who doesn't have time for these shenanigans. He's got a Grail to win, damnit!]

There are too many interpersonal relationships to wade through if you're going to be vague.

Just asking for information isn't enough. If it were that easy, we'd all be home, now.

So I've noticed.

Oh, of course-but it's pointless to attempt anything meaningful towards that end if you don't have any information. You can't make anything useful out of nothing.

[unless you're emiya shirou (whose very existence would give kayneth an aneurysm)]

[Shirou's existence gives everyone an aneurysm.]

I know people who can, but sadly they aren't here. And that magic gets taken away upon being transported here, anyway.

Either way, you can't expect everyone to just offer things up to a stranger.

And you certainly are strange.

...it's the situation that's strange.

[...he would take deeper offense to that last point but MAGIC!!!]

Nevertheless, that would be a very useful ability indeed-as would any other sort of magical ability imaginable, really.

It would be extremely useful if not for the fact that all magic is taken away upon entry here.

The only saving grace, from what I hear, is this summon you receive if you go out at a certain time of night.

I have yet to do so, but I very much miss having servants so I may have no choice.

...This is the first I've heard of any sort of summon.

[well gee Kayneth maybe if you were less of a dick people would be more helpful]

In any case, having to deal with an unfamiliar variety of magic is better than no magic at all. What is the nature of these summons?

['SERVANTS' SOUNDS PROMISING]

As I said, I have yet to call upon my own.

I've been told they are meant to help defend against these shadow creatures that attack in the night.

The details escape me, really, but from what I hear you have to be in peril to summon them.

[Helpful witch is helpful.]

Were you previously a magic user, then?

So in order to prevent yourself from being killed, you must put yourself in a situation where you have a good chance of dying first? I suppose that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...

[but what does kill you makes you dead.]

Yes, of course-one of the greatest of my era, to be precise.

[HE DOESN'T WANT TO TOOT HIS OWN HORN OR ANYTHING, BUT]

In effect, yes. I don't make the rules, I just relay them.

Besides, death isn't permanent here, it's just a nuisance and much slower than if I had my own powers.

[But, toot toot, right?]

Is that so? You must be mourning the loss of those powers as much as I am, then.

...

Death isn't permanent? How does that work?

[ARE WE ALL VAMPIRES NOW OR SOMETHING]

It's something I've been trying not to dwell too much upon-otherwise I'd just get distracted.

Well, it never was for me.

As I understand, if you die here, you're resurrected within the course of a week.

Like I said, much too slow. If I had my powers, I could have killed you and brought you back at least four times during the course of this conversation.

[Said a little too matter-of-factly.]

Ah, but you're right. Best not to dwell.

What-legitimately? Not as some kind of variety of the undead?

[HOLY SHIT...]

[Excuse this uproarious laughter.]

Of course legitimately! In both cases.

This place took the trouble to kidnap you. Do you think they would let you die so easily?

And in my case, well, The Golden Witch doesn't do shoddy work.

But that's...

[...not technically impossible but you'd need ridiculous, ridiculous magic to do it. Like. Legit magic, not just magecraft, and as far as he knows it's never been accomplished.

...so, uh,

....COOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!]

...unprecidented!

It is a little extraordinary, isn't it?

However, for a witch of the endless category, it's simple enough.
One should have the ability to fix what they have broken. That's all.
And I was never very gentle with my playthings.

That's why I thought perhaps it was a witch who kidnapped us.
But it would take a great effort to take others from different times and lands. And I don't know of any witch that would be so enigmatic about it.

[uh

what]

...I'll admit that not much of that makes sense to me-though, given that magic seems to work differently here, I can only assume that your variety of magic is different from the kind I'm used to.

Regardless, whoever we're dealing with here is probably on a completely different level from what we're used to.

[It's okay. Just smile and nod, Kayneth.]

That really must be the case.

Killing someone and then reviving them in such a fashion, is the job of an endless witch. You can understand that much, right?

I can hardly fathom a more powerful witch than myself when it comes to that, so the person who runs this must be something completely different.

Still with me~?

[he is obligated to be interested in the mechanics of this okay]

...Yes, of course. I believe it would have to be something like that, given that the way magic functions here seems to be completely different from what you're describing and what I'm familiar with.

A pity.
I've yet to find anyone who is familiar with a magic like this. I had hoped you'd know something, being a magic user and all.

So, what kind of a sorcerer are you, anyway?

As I said before, it appears as though magic functions differently in some parallel worlds than others. It's really quite fascinating...

[on one hand, shouldn't zelretch have said something about this...? on the other hand, he's a fucking troll.]

Which brings me back to that-as much as I'd love to reach that level, I'm not exactly a sorcerer. I am, however, extremely skilled in summoning and the manipulation of flowing matter.

[...IT'S COOLER THAN IT SOUNDS, HE SWEARS...]

Oh, a novice, then?

[At least she's not trying to be insulting this time.]

I understand.~

At least you were firm on the basics before getting ahead of yourself. That's admirable.

How many servants were you able to summon at once before you came here~?

[...regardless of her intent, it pretty obviously strikes a nerve...]

By no means am I any sort of novice-it's simply that sorcerers are on a completely different level from even masters of the craft such as myself. As for your question... I am an esteemed lecturer on the subject and, under normal circumstances, I can summon a veritable multitude of spirits.

[Oh, Kayneth, u mad?]

An esteemed lecturer? Well, it is said that those that cannot do, teach, am I correct?

I'm sure you're proficient enough. The level of sorcerer is not easy to obtain. Perhaps you just haven't suffered enough for your craft.

I am curious about how sorcery works in your land, though. How many demons have you been able to summon~?

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