⚔ 016; [video]

[croibhristeoir]

I-if anyone has a moment, I'm having a small problem. [This was the understatement of the millennium.]

I'd like to ask how...h-how...er...forgive me, I am having some trouble articulating things today. [Diarmuid adjusted the glasses he wore, seeming hesitant to look directly at the camera at first.]

Imagine one that...has gone through life without anger or hatred. This individual had never felt spite, resentment, or even a shred of those kind of things. He did all he could to put others and their happiness before himself and his own, finding contentment and joy in doing so. But after a certain point, that person...he found someone that did something so deplorable that it left that person filled with rage and spite.

He found someone that he hated. And no matter how he tried, that person could not simply forgive what was done to earn that hatred.

I beg of you, Prospero. Someone please tell me how that person can go back to the way he was. Before he could feel anger and spite, back when he could still grant forgiveness.

[Diarmuid looked away for a moment; he was unsure, even worried.]

Fionn, Grainne-- [Gods, what would they think of him when they knew?] ...there is something I have not yet told you. Forgive me for not doing so until now.

Arturia... [Another pause. She had been there when he had died, she knew the horrible rage he had unleashed that day. Cursing her, Kayneth, Kiritsugu, even the Grail itself. Again he worried that she must secretly detest such a hateful spirit.] When you have the time...I would like to speak with you. Please.

Comments

[myblimpisbigger]

[Oh, hello, story of his life. How are you today.]

There is no way to undo such a hatred, unfortunately. Once one understands that the world can contain something worth hating, that knowledge cannot be erased. My advice would be, instead of attempting to hide from that knowledge, attempting to make the world a better place despite it.

[croibhristeoir]

...nothing at all? [He'd assumed as much, really. But he had hoped he was wrong.]

Hiding from it was what created those Shadows not so long ago. Doing so now would be foolish.

video;

[chroimilis]

Mo chuisle mo chroí, I do detest this magical artifact. Will you not speak with me in person?

[ Something twists it's way into her heart as doubt circulates insecurities locked within her mind. Fright tugs at her as her eyes dull as she falls back into a hollow state she had before. Her bliss was only momentarily, she knows this much, but for her beloved to betray her by giving her name so freely alongside that of a certain lord's own.

To the shadows she'll have to return. Hiding and running, all for she was weak-minded and gave in after all of that time. He had damned her and all for what? That other name is one she's never heard before, but it was them he sought out instead of her.

Was she discarded already? From a man with whom she bore children with, she was no longer wanted? That must be it and even if these thoughts incite rage within her mind, there's no ill words to follow just yet. ]

Tell me.

video;

[croibhristeoir]

Of course, a muirnín. Would you rather I sought you out, or will you come over here?

[blackestomen]

Some things cannot be undone. You cannot go back to being the man you once were. Time... Changes all. And it flows forwards.

And some things are not worth forgiving.

[croibhristeoir]

I am very familiar with the workings of time and the fact that it can not be truly reversed. But what I am not familiar with is that which can simply not be forgiven.

[namedforcat]

Hatred, though a powerful negative emotion, is also part of being a sentient being. It is the other side of love, its reflection. I'm not saying to embrace it, or to even enjoy it, it's just nothing to be ashamed of.

You can't go back to the way you were unfortunately.

[croibhristeoir]

I didn't honestly expect there would be such a way to reverse things. But I couldn't help holding on to the small hope that perhaps I could.

[video]

[athngabla]

First things first. Keep in mind that, right now? You're talking to the wrong person about going through life without ever being angry.

[He chuckles, faintly amused.]

Second? ...Implying you can't forgive people just because you've felt anger before? That's wrong. Plain and simple. It's just another emotion, as powerful as you let it be.

[video]

[croibhristeoir]

[He managed to smile at that, though it looked notably more pained than amused.]

It's just that...I can never forgive him. I don't want to forgive him; I'd rather spend the rest of my life hating him. But that's...not right, is it? It should matter to me that I might be making the wrong choice in despising him.

[Video]

[kindofademon]

What'd I do?

[Video]

[croibhristeoir]

It's not you.

[Video]

[unknownrival]

I've told you time and again that you're human, Niisan.

Re: [Video]

[croibhristeoir]

But I...I don't know what to do now.

[Video]

[truthsnomiracle]

...I'm sorry, but did I hear you correctly? Do you truly claim to have retained such a level of innocence for over twenty years?

[Video]

[croibhristeoir]

Twenty-five, and yes. I'd never hated anyone until the end of the Holy Grail War.

[genius_idiot]

You have to take the good with the bad. It sucks, but that's how it is. Nothing's gonna stay perfect forever. It's naive to even think so!

[croibhristeoir]

Nothing's ever been perfect for me, and I accept that.

But I've never been angry about it before.

[scorpiospider]

You can't. [Blunt. Flat.] Doesn't matter, though. Raaaaaaaage can make you powerful, or at least less of a victim.

[croibhristeoir]

I'm no victim. I never have been.

[Video]

[crownedexorcist]

...It's impossible to go back to the way you used to be.

[Video]

[croibhristeoir]

...then what am I to do from here?

[video]

[king_of_heroes]

You truly are naive. Once a heart knows hate, it will never forget. There is no salvation. You will forever be tormented by the sins you set upon yourself.

[ hey look gil took lessons from kotomine ]

[video]

[croibhristeoir]

I didn't ask you.

[ video ]

[nosecondstrike]

Do you regret your change so much enough to sacrifice your current self, Diarmuid?

[ video ]

[croibhristeoir]

...no. But I want to know what I am meant to do to prevent this anger from overcoming me completely.

action; someday the other thread will end

[ex_cashcow493]

[ Did a certain waifu call for a certain husbando? Yes, yes he did. While there's a slight hint of fear that he would despise her for trying to aid Kayneth here in Prospero, she'll visit him without answering his call.

She knows most of the places he frequents so it shouldn't take her long. Where might she find him today? ]

action; >implying out threads ever end

[croibhristeoir]

[When she made her way to his hotel room, the door would be answered by one exhausted looking Diarmuid.]

...hello, Arturia.

[video]

[croigaiscioch]

...And what would that be?

[Yeah, he's just going to shoot that question.]

[video]

[croibhristeoir]

...things happened after my death that you don't yet know about.