13: Things We Do for Our Friends (Video, forward-dating to eveing)

[needsteaplz]

[The feed opens to Saori sitting on her bed with Sirius laying down next to her along with a empty box of tissues. Her eyes are pretty red considering she's been crying for a while.]

I'm pretty sure everyone who goes to the high school would know by now but...Miki got arrested for her "training" attempt a while back. Truth is, I called the police on her because I just didn't know what to do with her. She has good intention and I thought this was for the best but now I'm regretting it.

I hoping to post her bail or pay whatever fines she has to pay but I don't think I'll have enough to cover it. I know there might be people here who don't see her in the greatest light, but if you have it in your hearts, would anyone would like to help?

Anyways, I hope you have a good night. I don't think I'll be going out in the Dark Hour today, by the way.

[With a final sigh, she turns off the feed.]

⚓ 004; [video]

[hellburner]

So, Prospero.

How many of you are new around here? And how many of you keep getting lost? You're in luck today, because I have put my particular skills to work for your benefit. With my help, you'll never get lost in an unfamiliar world.

[This smile is less 'friendly' and more 'up to something'. She takes a rolled up piece of paper from off-camera and unrolls it to reveal...a map.]

[But oh no, this is no ordinary map. This map of Prospero is so carefully and expertly drawn as to make the best cartographers weep at how inadequate they are. It is a work of art, everything from the streets to the buildings labeled flawlessly in clear, legible handwriting.]

[It's even signed.]

So. Shall I stop pointing out how obviously you need this so we can start discussing prices?

second verse ♫ voice/action

[blindknight]

[ VOICE ]

[ Lindsey sighs, sounding far more subdued than he did when he first arrived. ] I can't believe I'm asking this but...

I need a tour guide. I can't... find my way around this fucking place. The hotel lobby's as far as I've gotten.

Incidentally, that's where you'll find me. I'm the tall guy with the blond hair and sunglasses.

Crazy people need not apply, thanks.


[ ACTION ]

[ And lo, there is Lindsey, seated somewhere inconspicuous, white cane leaning against his chair as he fiddles with a cell phone. It's not the phone he was given upon his arrival, but rather his own, for all the good it does him. At least he knows how this one works.

He'll glance up every once and a while when someone passes too close, wondering if they're someone here to answer his call ]

[Video]

[trueempress]

[It's one of the little girls again.]

Tell me, if you would, of your rulers. Your kings and queens, emperors and empresses, presidents and prime ministers. Who decides the fate of your country and inspires your loyalty? Or, perhaps not.

On another personal note, who would suggest a weapon suitable for a girl ten years of age?

ｖ． ⚔ ｖｉｄｅｏ；

[chastehuntress]

[ Remember that girl that spends most of her time stealing food out of the various street markets? Her other hobbies include leeching internet from the cafes and libraries in the area, as well as trolling all of the other Servants. Because honestly, if she wasn't living out the life of kicking everyone's butts, she may as well play up the rest of her title. After all, Archers were notorious for not being nice (That rocker fella doesn't count, alright?) and there's one thing she's noticed during her time here. So when this Archer opens her mouth to speak, it's as good of a guess as any to assume she's going to say something cocky. ]

I have noticed that there are a fair amount of Servants here. Ah, for those who are unfamiliar with the term... [ Archer takes a pause to moisten her lips, thinking over how to explain it best. ] ... it is one used during a specific type of battle. There are seven individuals summoned under different classes - Archer, Saber, Lancer, Assassin, Caster, Rider, and Berserker. Honestly speaking, Archer is the superior class, so that's really all you need to know. The other six are worthless, which is why my ire has been earned this very day. We have far too many of the other classes within this realm, especially that of the Saber class. How vexing it is to open up this artifact and discover that another has been welcomed here.

Therefore, on behalf of all of the honorable knights under the class of Archer, I challenge each and every one of you lesser-classed Sabers in every competition known to the mortal races! My feelings won't be hurt terribly if you decide to flee this isle to prevent your inevitable loss. Your memory will be mocked however though.

[ A pause. ]

I suppose it is rather unfair of me to address only a few individuals. As for the rest of you, tell me of the games of this world so that I may excel at all that I do!

[Action/Video]

[rejecting]

[There is a rather confused young woman, standing just inside of the entrance to Prospero's hotel, and she is holding a cellphone. She is gingerly pecking at it, as if the thing could explode should she not use it correctly. She can see posts by other people, but she can't figure out how to respond or how to make her own.

Eventually she does manage to start a feed, but she's still not really sure if she's doing it right.]

Umm... Hello? Phone people? Can you hear me?

second curse, first serving! ☄ video

[kitsunemimi]

[ Hello Prospero. Today you are treated to Hyperactive Maid Mode Tamamo! She smiles and waves with a gloved hand. Behind her is a closed wooden door with the sign "BREAK ROOM" on it. ]

Greetings esteemed guests to a new episode of Tamamo☆Today! We're at a special location, in the heart of downtown Prospero City itself, in the most beauuuutiful restaurant that one could set their eyes upon! And, faithful viewers, like Tamamo has promised, here! Your special service!

[ Tamamo sets the camera on something, holding it level as the feed captures her from tip to toe. She twirls in a coquettish manner, running a hand down to smooth out the frills of her skirt. ]

Tadaa~ Kidding! That was especially for you, Master! I hope you were watching. ♥

[ A wink to the camera and a blown kiss before she picks it up again. ]

This is a special episode, that in which Tamamo gets to utterly humiliate some deserving jerk! Surely with this the ratings will skyrocket--

Who's humiliating who, exactly?

[ Just then, the locker door opens up to reveal today's special guest rival with so much swag the ladies simply don't know what to do with themselves! Ladies and gentlemen; Gilgamesh, the King of Waiters. ]

Ah--

You don't honestly expect to win, do you?

[ Tamamo is actually speechless because yeah this actually looks really fitting... ]

Ahh, geez! How tragic for a perfectly great body to be wasted on such a jerk! Never the less! Are you prepared to taste sweet defeat, Blondie?

[ And he'll give a triumphant smirk. His A+ Charisma is totally going to come in handy today. If he can actually manage to not piss anyone off for five seconds. ]

I would be flattered if I didn't already know how handsome I was. Or if it didn't come from such a weird fox girl. Really, what's with your ears?

[ How did he get so close to her in such a short time? Better yet, when did he start tugging at one of her ears? ]

Ara, my ears dear Archer are quite simply--kyaaaaah!!

I guess most people will just consider it part of the costume. I wonder if I should've employed the same tactic. Do teenage girls still go for 'hot guys with cat ears'?

Let go! You, you brute! Barbarian! Disgusting troll!

[ Cue Tamamo freaking the hell out because Goldie is painfully tugging on an ear... ]

You stupid mongrel get your hands off!

[ What's a show without surprises? Boring and predictable, that's what. ]

[ Surprise guest Lancer, clothes set to "dapper", walks out of the locker, surveys the scene, and rolls his eyes. Rapidly, he walks over and grabs Gilgamesh's own ear, smirking at the other servant all the while. ]

You heard the lady, mongrel. You've got to treat your coworkers with respect, after all.

[ From his tone, Gilgamesh is considered anything but a co-worker. ]

Since when has a king ever had to--

[ Oh, great. He was actually enjoying teasing the fox girl until the hound decided to show up and spoil his fun. He'll be slapping Lancer's hand away, eventually letting go of Tamamo's ear with a huff. ]

Hauu. My poor ear! Don't worry ear, you'll get better--

[ Tamamo is going to pet her ear with such a distraught look on her face, almost to the verge of tears. ]

Right, right. I'm supposed to be 'convincing'. Ahem.

[ And suddenly, the unthinkable happens. Gilgamesh gets on one knee, grabs one of Tamamo's hands and presents it with a very gentlemanly kiss. ]

Please excuse my rudeness, madam. You have my word that I will make it up to you in whatever way I am able to do so.

[ Caster cannot believe what is happening. For another instance in her life as a Servant she is completely shocked, to the point where words or coherent thought won't even form. ]

HEH!?

[ Crack. The water in Lancer's brain evaporates in a flash. He is left with no recourse but to stare blankly, disbelieving. ]

[ Granted, he had never interacted with Gilgamesh much outside of Prospero, but this was a Servant who had, ostensibly, gotten along well with that twisted priest for years. ]

[ How in the name of multiple pantheons worth of gods can he actually have manners!? ]

...Who are you and what the hell did you do with Gilgamesh? This isn't more of that shadow doppelganger crap again, is it?

[ If you guessed watching horrible TV shows, you were probably right. Besides, this is just another face of trolling. Being a dick, being overly well-mannered. It's all the same. Anyways, he's satisfied with the results and quickly pulls himself back up, dusting off his apron. ]

Oh, come on. I was cooped up with priest for ten years. What do you think I did during that time to entertain myself?

[ Ah, but the poor fox girl did looked pretty out of it now. And they sort of had a job to do. So he'll just be snapping her out of it with a small tug of the tail as he passes by.]

Come on, the jerk that runs this place is going to start yelling at us if we don't hurry. I'd rather not have to punch someone today.

[ And with that it snaps Caster out of her reverie. ]

Hyaa!! You stupid bleach blonde I'm going to--

[ And the feed cuts out. ]

[[ OOC:: This is just a video post; you're more than welcome to tag it and one/two/three of us may respond! But here's a link to the log where the actual serving will happen! Enjoy Prospero! ]]

[[ LEGEND: TAMAMO-NO-MAE, GILGAMESH, & CÚ CHULAINN ]]